Albatross Takes Flight

An Autumn Reflection

2011-11-02T11:10:00.000Z

This is partly what I did for the Circuit Staff Meeting, complete with a montage of suitable pictures - alas, as I blogged earlier, things didn't go according to plan....

The colours of Autumn give a new splendour to our world. All is golden, russet, brown; thre is an astonishing patchwork of colours. How wonderful God's creation seems, clad in the colours of Autumn.

Yet those colours represent also the beginning of the end: the leaves fall, plants die and decay, and soon will come the starkness of bare branches and lifeless cold of winter. Our faith journey too has times of coldness, and bleak outlook.

But amidst the impending death of Autumn, there is the hope of new life. Fruit and seeds in abundance contain the spark of what is to come when the world once more turns to spring.

Lord Jesus, we remember the Autumn of your ministry; the time in Jerusalem when new colours appeared: purple, crimson, scarlet. We remember the disciples, afraid in the stark winter following your death.

But we rejoice in the glorious spring of your resurrection, for the seeds you had already planted in the Autumn time, and for being able ourselves to look beyond our winter to the promise of your advent in our world.

When Technology goes bad....

2011-11-02T11:01:00.000Z

Yesterday I was leading devotions for the Circuit Staff Meeting. Or, correction, I was supposed to be leading devotions. With a screen and projector available, I'd done everything on the computer as a presentation - only for the Laptop to decide to throw a wobbly: I've fixed it now, but it took a couple of hours of fiddling as the user profiles had become corrupt and unless you went on in Safe Mode, all you saw was a black screen... given the sound didn't work in safe mode - or the video out - this meant using my own machine wasn't an option.

The problem though was exacerbated by the fact that the presentation I had so carefully crafted was done in OpenOffice Impress.

First of all, let me say that in general I'm all for Open Software. I have an old laptop that would otherwise be useless configured with Ubuntu Linux, and when I upgraded computers back in January I decided to try and live without Microsoft Office and have been using OpenOffice and LibreOffice almost exclusively ever since; and if a Church is looking to do more in terms of projection during Worship but hasn't got the budget for the likes of EasyWorship, then I'd recommend having a look at OpenLP which I have also been experimenting with recently.

Sadly, in my opinion Impress - the Presentation package in Open/LibreOffice - has a particular major flaw that is likely to mean that I head back to MS Office and in particular Powerpoint sooner rather than later. This is the flaw that compounded the problems I had yesterday: that the way Impress handles media files automatically makes it so much harder to transfer a presentation to another computer.

This isn't a new problem and in some ways this makes matters worse: it's known about, and yet nothing has been done to improve the situation.

What happens is that you insert pictures, music, maybe a video into your presentation - and Impress, rather than creating a huge file, saves instead links to the files you are using. As soon as you then copy the presentation to another computer, the links don't work - unless you spend the extra time putting all the files needed into the same directory, and transfer that along with the presentation. This seems to happen even if you try and export the presentation in another format (such as Powerpoint) - and it meant that yesterday, even though I could copy the presentation to another computer, I couldn't use it as most of the pictures and all of the music and video just didn't show up. To be fair, this can be a problem with standard Powerpoint files too - but Powerpoint can at least create a version that includes all of the media using the Package for CD option - Impress just doesn't.

Reflectionary: Ends and Means (Matthew 22:34-46 and 1 Thess. 2:1-8)

2011-10-17T15:18:00.001+01:00

When I looked at these readings, there was something that leapt out at me, possibly because as well that with the recent weeks of the lectionary following the debate between Jesus and the different groups in the Jewish hierarchy, it's an issue that has been brought to the fore.

That thing was purity of purpose and also action, and my immediate response was to compare this to the works of John le Carre: with the recent film of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy I have revisted not just the main three Smiley novels, but also the earlier The Spy who came in from the cold. One of the striking things about these Cold War era novels (which, don't forget, were written by someone who was an insider having worked for MI5 and MI6) is that they dispell any illusions about the Western intelligence operations being particularly any more moral than those of their Soviet counterparts. What mattered was not the means, but the ends: the gaining of the intelligence needed by the Western Governments. Blackmail, the encouragement of disloyalty, the creation of suspicion, making alliances with those who are at best distasteful and at worst downright evil because they suit their purposes. In a way, this hidden world - still in many cases unknown to us - that had the tacit approval of governments of all stripes is a proof of the maxim that the ends justify almost any means.

It happens more widely than that of course. In some cases, it is almost expected that people will be dishonest to get what they want. We've just had something through about applying for a school place for our youngest: how many stories will there be, this year, of people trying to game the system to get their child into the best school? How many insurance claims will be padded?

And yet this is not God's way. Jesus has been angry with his questioners, and is still angry here: because they wish him to say something controversial, because they are not actually interested in his answers, because they wish to try and twist God's word and bend it to their own purposes.

On this latter point, we have to admit that Christians have a far from unblemished record. God's word has been used to justify all manner of things that reflect very badly on the faith: from wars to institutional inequality to failing to protect the vulnerable, there has been (and sadly in many cases continues to be) a use of scripture to justify what should not have been tolerated.

Nevertheless, we are encouraged to be prepared to follow Christ and be pure in motive and action - even when that leads us into uncomfortable places. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians of how he and his companions, in spite of how they had been treated as Phillippi, still went out and boldy proclaimed their message in Thessalonica.

So are our motives pure? Are mine? Lord have mercy on us, for the times when we fail to be true about our motives, pure in our actions, and honourable in our methods.....

Reflectionary: Challenging Authority (Matthew 21:33-46)

2011-09-27T11:46:00.000+01:00

One of the first points to make about this reading is that it's well worth putting it into context - specifically last week's reading where the Chief Priests and Elders question Jesus' authority. Jesus has already accused them of not listening to his message - of not recognising where he comes from - now, he questions their own authority and in fact tells them that they are setting themselves against God.

It's tempting - and far too easy - to simply see this as Matthew attacking the Jewish Authorities. After all, isn't this a clear parallel - God as the Vineyard Owner, them as the tenants, the prophets as the servants and then of course Jesus himself the son who is killed? That's certainly one way of looking at it - but the problem I have with this as a preacher is that it runs the risk of coming across as self-congratulatory - that we've got it right, and the temple authorities (not the whole Jewish nation, after all at this point almost all of Jesus' followers are Jewish) have got it wrong, have set themselves against God.

In some ways the thing I want to do is to take this story on, broaden it, turn it into a challenge. Who are the tenants? In context, the Temple Authorities, but if we say God created all of us, then are we not all those tenants? Is it not all of us who have set ourselves against God, who tend not to listen when God calls us, who in fact rely on the reconciling grace of God that Jesus shows us?

And let's take it a step further. This started off about authority, and it should also speak about authority now. It is a challenge to all church leaders, of whatever stripe: are you open to the promptings of God, are you willing to see God doing something different, challenging your understanding? David Lose points out that this passage has been used in part for self-justification by the church - we're following Christ so we know we're right and the others are wrong - but it can also say to us the opposite: God works with and through those who are open to Him, and that sometimes means challenging the established ways of doing things in "The Church". Martin Luther challenged the church. John Wesley challenged the church. So did many others. And in many cases the challenged institution tried to cast them out, silence them, marginalise them. Yet, because they were open to what God wanted them to do, the work they did prospered and continues to this day.

As an institution the Methodist Church is having a bit of a look at itself at the moment, looking at how it can almost get back to its roots - become, as the General Secretary Martyn Atkins put it in his report to Conference, A Discipleship Movement shaped for Mission. My hope and prayer, in the light of this passage from Matthew, is that in doing so we are showing a willingness for the institution I am part of to engage with what God is doing, and be part of it - to not be interested merely in keeping hold of what we have, but to recognise that if we are to be good tenants then we have to listen to what God is telling us and then act upon it. The delight is, as David Lose goes on to say in his article, that God doesn't come and condemn his tenants - us - for going the wrong way, doing the wrong things, but in fact keeps coming to us again and again, prompting us and encouraging us to respond. The resurrection is part of this, and so too is the Holy Spirit: God wants us to join with Him, and He never stops giving us the opportunity to do so.

Reflectionary: Questioning Jesus (Mt 21:23-32)

2011-09-22T09:46:00.001+01:00

This isn't necessarily what i will preach about on Sunday, but it does give an idea of where my thoughts are going. If it seems a little disjointed, that's because really it's still a work in progress....

You can argue that asking questions is fundamental to who we are. It's a skill that we learn early on, and the key to so much learning is by being prepared to ask questions.

The problem with questions can sometimes be the answers - or, to be more to the point, the temptation to give answers that do not present a full answer to the question. It's sometimes thought that an essential skill for politicians for example is managing to avoid giving a meaningful answer to an awkward question - and so the answer given obscures the true one, or attempts to argue that if there is a fault it is actually with the question asked.

Sometimes answers can be misleading because they are not complete answers. Anyone with children or experience of them will know that when you are continually asked why something is so, or why or how something happens, and each new answer becomes the source of a new question ad infinitum, the temptation is to try and find a way of ceasing the questions with a pat answer - "it just does", "Because", or similar. Some answers are simplifications, a way of trying to offer a partial explanation because the full answer is deemed too difficult; how many schoolchildren are taught Newton's Laws of motion without it being explained that actually these are a low speed approximation - that actually relativistic motion is the way to go and it's just that because unless you're travelling at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light the other factors are close to zero that you can use Newton's laws for most calculations?

Over at Working Preacher Karl Jacobson makes the point that a lot of people ask questions of Jesus - his followers, John the Baptist, the Jewish Authorities, even Pilate. But in most cases the reason for the question is to serve some sort of self-interest - that the questions are often, as in this reading, loaded questions that are designed not to find something out, but to make a point - whether that is to say "look, I'm a really good follower", or to try and get Jesus to say something controversial.

The Chief Priests and Elders are trying to provoke Jesus, trying to make him take a position that sets him against them - and in doing so allows them to diminish his claims. He threatens their authority: they want to call him out. However, they find themselves asked a question that they dare not answer.

One of the points about the question Jesus asks is that it is not merely a way of avoiding their question: it is a clear indication to them that he is indeed the one that John prophesied about. The Priests and Elders dare not attack John; Jesus then uses the parable to accuse them of not actually doing more than pay lip-service to the message of repentance John gave, and that those who would be thought of as having no place with God had in fact demonstrated their desire to be a part of God's Kingdom by their actions.

Faith isn't about not asking questions. It's about asking the right sort of questions, and being prepared to listen to the answers. I do not believe in a God that demands that I accept everything unquestioningly; I do believe in a God that sometimes gives me answers I don't like!

Reflectionary: The workers in the Vineyard

2011-09-17T23:45:00.000+01:00

Based on Matthew 20:1-16. Rather than a sermon this week, I decided to do something a little different - more in the style of a meditation. Maybe I'll post a comment telling people how it goes.....

I am going to try and take you back through time, back more than 2000 years, and tell you a story. It may well never have happened, but that doesn't mean that it's not true: for this is one of the stories that Jesus used to tell his listeners what God is like. Before us is a man, a working man much like any other.....

At the time, I was so angry. I couldn't understand why someone could be so unfair. You might laugh now, tell me that I had no right, but you weren't the one who was there and I was.

It was a hot day, and I stood at the hiring place hoping that I would be one of the lucky ones. Work is hard to come by, and if I don't work, I don't eat - and neither do my family. This day, I was lucky: a day's work in the Vineyard, picking the fruit. Off we went, and because we knew it was easy to replace us, we got on with it. There was plenty to do - it was a big vineyard. A long day's work in the heat of the sun lay ahead of us - but the reward, the wages, would be worth it.

You have to get a harvest in quickly, so it wasn't a big surprise when in the middle of the morning a few more came in to work; there was still plenty to do, and as lunchtime came and then mid-afternoon, more workers arrived. I felt a bit sorry for them - half a wage may be better than none, but too many half wages and you'll soon feel the hunger in your belly.

It was coming to the end of the day when even more arrived; it hardly seemed worth their while coming, they were only there for about an hour. Still, you don't turn down work if you want to eat, even if an hour's wage will only buy you enough for one small meal.

When they went up to collect their wages though, they got given a full day's wage. As one of the first hired, I couldn't help but think about what was coming to me: if that was what they got for one hour, surely I'd be getting enough to feed the family for a week. I started working it out: what I would buy, where I would keep the rest of the money, whether I was going to let myself have a day off sometime soon or just use it as a backup in case i didn't get hired.

One days wage. One lousy, mean, day's wage - exactly the same as the ones who'd stood around for most of the day got. All that work, the sun beating down, and I got the same as someone who had worked for an hour. How can you tell me that's fair?

The problem was, I'd agreed to it. As he pointed out when I complained, I hadn't been cheated by him - I'd got exactly what was promised. It was tempting to think that I should have just hung around waiting for evening before getting hired, but it doesn't work like that - you have to take what you can, when you can. Even so, I thought I had good reason to be unhappy.

I took my wages and walked away, heading for home. As I walked, lost in my own thoughts, I barely noticed until I bumped into him one of those who'd worked for an hour. To my amazement, he was crying; not in pain, but in joy. I didn't know him, but I had seen him around; a small bloke, a bit older, one of the ones that sometimes didn't get hired because the landowners want the strongest, fittest and youngest workers. He was speechless with the joy of what he had been given. And then I remembered the time last year when no-one hired me for a whole week, of the despair, the wondering why I wasn't being picked. And the joy when someone finally gave me a job. And do you know something? I cried too.

Job Advert: Or, the importance of reading between the lines

2011-09-03T16:44:00.000+01:00

Inspired by what this afternoon has held for me....

"An exciting opportunity has arisen to work pastorally alongside the Minister. You will be working in a fruitful field, helping the Minister in Worship Preparation and work with young people. You will be fully equipped for your task, and need to demonstrate the ability to 'run the race before you' no matter what. An attention to detail will be crucial."

Translation: The Minister needs someone to come and cut the grass at the Manse. It's a big lawn, and it grows quick. If you can come and do it every week it will mean that he can get on with Sunday's service or maybe go out with the kids. The Lawn mower is in the shed. Don't leave it half done even if it starts raining. Oh, and there's a strimmer in there as well.

Praying for Peace in Manchester

2011-08-11T21:35:00.003+01:00

After Tuesday night's riots and Wednesday's Cleanup in Central Manchester, the rain seemed to have washed away the desire to riot on Wednesday Evening; it's rained during today (Thursday) as well, but that didn't stop a group of people meeting up at Piccadilly Gardens just after 5pm this evening.

There was some milling around, people talking to those they knew, a sense of anticipation as the police watched on. And then, the events got underway.

It started with a man and woman addressing the crowd, and leaflets being handed out. Suddenly the group had purpose, and as we stood there we said together a prayer for peace, and sang a song - modified for the occasion by the writer, Shirley Erena Murray, who is based in New Zealand - the words of which can be found here.

The group - about 60 strong - had come together through Faith Network 4 Manchester and included members of several different Christian groups, Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, Buddhists, Quakers, and others of different faiths - or even no faith at all. (For a few pictures see here.) It gathered as a response to the riots - not to campaign against them, but to do something positive by showing that people of different faiths can stand together in the cause of peace.

After singing, and joining together in a large circle, people talked. Whatever our faith or ethnic backgrounds, we had gathered to make common purpose and at least in the conversations I was part of and heard, there was plenty of tolerance and mutual respect - the way it should be.

Going into Manchester for the first time since the rioting was a bit strange. I parked at Printworks, my normal spot, and everything seemed pretty normal - more police than normal, but the Arndale was still open and everything looked intact until I reached Jessops. I didn't get the chance to play tourist and gawp at Oldham Street or Miss Selfridge, but those involved in the cleanup seem to have done a good job. The police presence was noticable as you'd expect, and at the time of writing there seems to have been little further trouble. I can't claim any credit for that - I suspect the weather and the police presence has been more in any rioters mind than the presence of a bunch of religious people hanging around Piccadilly Gardens - but if nothing else it's a sign that some of the things that may be thought to divide us need not do so, and a positive message - a message of people working together for peace - has been seen where two nights ago violence and disorder ruled the roost.

Baptism, Communion, and Technology

2011-08-07T21:13:00.003+01:00

This morning saw me, for the first time, trying to combine a Baptism and Communion. In hindsight, trying to also make this my first major use of a projector and laptop at the same church might not have been the best idea... There was however something I got right that had nothing to do with technology, and everything to do with understanding my context.

The usual congregation are, as they would say themselves, young at heart rather than in any other way. There were probably more that came for the baptism than came because they are normally there, and with a group that were not overly familiar with church, I wanted to try and avoid having too many books to juggle and pages to find. So various bits of liturgy and hymns, together with some appropriate images, were put into a 40 slide presentation to go on the projector screen that is a permanent fixture on the wall.

Unfortunately, the screen's motorised mechanism had it seemed been causing trouble - a fuse was gone, and until it was sorted then we were going to be distinctly low tech!

It was eventually sorted out, but with the limited time to set up and the family arriving it was hardly ideal preparation to lead worship. And, it turned out, there was no-one standing by to press the buttons - leaving me to try and do my best with a wireless mouse that wasn't playing nice. After the baptism itself, I gave up on the technology other than to display a couple of images. One lesson is that especially when you're working with liturgy, make sure that someone else is there to press the buttons!

Fortunately - and this may be where my experience of working with IT comes in - I was prepared for this eventuality. All the hymns were also in the hymnbooks in the pews - and all the responses were on a sheet I'd printed in sufficient quantity for people to have sight of. I didn't have to worry too much about the tech failing, and I can learn for next time. I'm already thinking that it might be better to be less ambitious - maybe a few images and the hymns is enough, as after all not everyone will always be able to read from a screen, especially when it is not ideally positioned for the task.

Where things went right was that I took a little time before Communion to explain what we were doing, why we were doing it, and how we were doing it. I didn't use theological language, I tried to pitch it at their level, and I had written my own Prayer of Thanksgiving. Many from the baptismal party came up, mostly to receive a blessing.

Afterwards, one of the regular congregation told me that I had done something out of the ordinary by explaining about Communion - something that apparently other ministers having to combine Baptism and Communion had not done at that church.

Is this true? There are many Ministers I have followed there, some of whom I know and have much respect for. Was I really the first to do this? Maybe not, but it certainly something to reflect on.

The point is that it showed the importance of context. I was very aware of the lack of experience many there had of church in general and communion in particular: these days, many (if not most) only have contact with church for special occasions, and with the rise of alternate wedding venues and Crem-only funerals, often with little or no religious input, the number of those special occasions is even lower. I do not say this to bemoan the situation, it is merely an observation. So when people do come to church, one cannot assume that they know anything about what we are about, what our sacraments are for, or whether they are welcome to join in with them. This places a responsibility on those of us who lead worship on these occasions, to be prepared to explain a bit more than normal and to adjust things to a degree.

It also places another responsibility on us: to present the Good News to those who have joined us for this occasion. By having Baptism as part of a public act of worship, there is an opportunity to do this. However if people feel unwelcome, if they feel excluded because they don't understand what is going on, that opportunity could be easily lost.

Intercessions for Sunday 24th July

2011-07-23T22:01:00.003+01:00

Often I rely on either completely extempore prayers (though I do have a sort of structure I tend to work to) or some printed ones - in particular some from Christine Odell's Companion to the Revised Common Letionary - but tonight I've written some to use at the two services I'm taking tomorrow (Sunday). If anyone else wants to use them be my guest - all I'd ask is that you let me know that you've used them.

With events in Norway unfolding, the continuing humanitarian crisis in East Africa, and closer to home the events at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport I wanted to make some sort of acknowledgment that there's a lot of hurt and possibly a lot of doubt - but also to frame that in the humanity of Jesus Christ, who shows us that God truly does understand our pain - and came to this earth to prove it to us.

______________________________________________________________
We come to God knowing that through Christ, our prayers are not only heard, but also understood by one who lived our life; we ask for the Holy Spirit to show us answers, and give us wisdom and courage to accept those answers when they are not what we would wish.

Christ our Lord, you knew those who suffered, in body, mind, and spirit; you brought healing and blessing. We ask for healing and blessing for those known to us today: For.....

May they know your healing, your comfort, your power in their lives.

Lord of our life
Hear our prayer

Christ our Lord, you created a community around you. We pray for our community here, and the wider community that we are part of; for those who lead their communities, and those of power and influence. We seek wisdom for us and for them, and we ask that your Holy Spirit will guide all in the ways of justice, peace and mercy.

Lord of our life
Hear our prayer

Christ our Lord, you knew what it was to be hungry and thirsty. We pray for those across our world, and especially in East Africa, who are suffering and dying due to lack of food and water: for those who seek to help them, and those who have the power to decide where help is welcome. We mourn with those who mourn, and ask you to show us how we can help those in need.

Lord of our life
Hear our prayer

Christ our Lord, you were a victim of violence and death. We pray for those who have been victims and those who mourn them: for those killed in Norway, for those in Afghanistan, and in so many other places across our world; and for those closer to home, the victims of violence and killing in our society. We look to bring a message of peace and reconciliation, and an end to violence.

Lord of our life
Hear our prayer

Christ our Lord, you restored the faith of those who doubted. We pray for all those whose faith has been shaken by recent events, and ask that you will restore our faith and theirs.

Lord of our life
Hear our prayer

Christ our Lord, we thank you for hearing our prayers, for being part of our lives, and ask that through the Holy Spirit we will be able to show others how our prayers are answered. Amen.

Presiding at Communion

2011-07-12T21:59:00.002+01:00

I took bread and wine.
I gave you thanks.
I broke the bread.
I shared it with all those there.

Simple. And yet also profound.

Sunday 10th July was the first time I was able to preside at a celebration of Holy Communion. Unlike many of those ordained on that day, I had not received authorisation to preside at communion - and possibly even more unusually, the fact that I hadn't an authorisation wasn't my own choice.

Methodism in many ways contains much that is pragmatic, and one sign of this is the attitude to communion. For Methodists, typically there's one communion service per month per church; any less than that though and a Circuit can ask Conference to give an Authorisation to someone who is not an Ordained Presbyter to preside at communion. This might be a Probationer, maybe in the past a Deacon (although that's not really what Deacons are about and so it's very, very rare now), even a Lay Person - I have known all three happen. This will seem strange to those in many traditions, some (such as Roman Catholic and Anglican) unhappy about the idea of anyone other than an Ordained Presbyter involved, others (such as Baptists) wondering what all the fuss is about and why we have to have this system anyway.

For me I don't personally have a problem with this. One of the traditional (Protestant!) Marks of the Church involves proper administration of the Sacraments; I am happy to interpret this as allowing the Methodist Conference to so authorise people to preside, especially as it does take some care to ensure there is a genuine need for the requested authorisation.

This has though placed me in the position of acting as Minister of my churches for two (in one case three) years without being able to preside at Communion. I have found this something that, especially over the last few months, I have been longing to do. It has confirmed me in my calling as much as anything, and I have in some ways found it to be a gift - for I feel that I can approach this aspect of my ministry in a way that I may not have done when I started out. I have for example realised that I hold a rather higher view of the sacraments than I had previously thought - although maybe not as high as some of those within Methodism; I'm not about to join the Methodist Sacramental Fellowship for example, although I respect their position.

So when it came to Sunday it was truly a celebration. People from all three of my churches gathered together, and in the gathering it seems all found enrichment - I'm still getting comments back about how wonderful the occasion was. For me there was a sense of rightness, of doing as God has called me to do; of celebration, as I was finally able to fulfill that call; of rejoicing, that all were prepared to come together (which is for me one of the important parts of what communion is all about); but above all, that it was a fantastic opportunity to praise and worship God, and to celebrate what Christ has done for us.

I can only hope, as I prepare for a future where leading communion services will be a minimum of four times a month, that that same sense of reverence, of worship, and of sharing, will always be a part of my presiding at communion. Lord, let me never take this gift - and my calling to be the channel of it - for granted......

Reflecting on Ordination

2011-07-07T20:50:00.000+01:00

Last Sunday saw my calling as a Methodist Presbyter affirmed in two very important ways: First, I was Received into Full Connexion, and then, at Liverpool Cathedral, I was Ordained. At both, my calling was powerfully affirmed: the first time as all those there rose to their feet, at the second by the whole congregation saying of myself and the 12 other Ordinands, "They are worthy". Both were moments to bring a lump to the throat, and with the many people covering every aspect of my life present at Liverpool it was an experience both celebratory and humbling.

This in many ways marks the end of a long journey - and yet it also becomes the start of a new one. When I look back, the seeds of this were sown not much short of 20 years ago, while I was still a fairly recent convert to Christianity and a teenage University student; the first signs of growth came in the mid to late 1990s as I began training as a Local Preacher, being fully accredited at the end of 1999.

It was that year that I knew, beyond my own doubt, that God was calling me and what to be. It wasn't that I hadn't before, but now I couldn't ignore it. A diversion into being a Circuit Steward - and getting married! - later, and I was all ready to apply at the start of 2004.

Except I had missed the deadline for that year. So it was the autumn of 2004 when I applied, early in 2005 when I was accepted for Foundation Training, and September before I went to the first day - a Saturday at Withington, as Luther King House was booked out! There I met others who shared part or all of this journey with me. It was a joy to be ordained with one of those I met that day, but in some ways also a shame that I was unable to go and support my friend who was Ordained Deacon on the same day.

I could go on and on about the training, but suffice to say that after six years it was a great relief when the Probationers Committee passed me. I was pretty sure they would - and I even managed to get them laughing, as when invited to ask them any questions I pointed out that there was really only one I needed the answer to - "Am I in?"

Preparations had been in hand already, but the path was still not to be smooth. The venue chosen was the smallest, and the only one within walking distance of Conference; the tickets made available disappeared fast enough that no-one beyond my personal allocation (plus my in-laws who were waiting on the website as soon as it opened) was able to get any. After a short flurry of activity involving ordinands, District Chairs and others, some of us were switched to the largest venue - Liverpool Cathedral.

So much then seemed to happen that the weeks went by at a blur; then, the week before Ordination, it all had to stop as I joined the other Prebyteral Ordinands on retreat.

The Retreat was exactly what I needed: a time to stop, to reflect, and to address some of my own feelings. I'm sure that a number of us were thinking - as I did - of those that wouldn't be there on Sunday. So there was some sadness, but also much blessing: when, during a communion, you feel someone come and sit down next to you even when you know full well there is no-one physically there, when it's almost like a physical shock, and you realise that you are in Christ's presence, how can you be anything but blessed?

And then it came to Sunday. Being part of an act of worship that would recognise me for what I have been called to be, but nevertheless centred on God. That encouraged me to be fully me - fully human - in God's service. That said, as everyone stood to affirm me, that my calling is true.

Then to Liverpool, and to a venue that in itself inspires awe. Meeting up with my Assisting Minister, who, exactly 52 years after his own Ordination, was making this one of his last public acts of ministry. Meeting up with people from every aspect of my life, who had chosen to come and support me whatever their own faith (or lack of it) might be. Being walked through where to go, where to sit, when to move. Being reminded by David Wilkinson in his sermon that although unworthy by myself, I am in fact worthy because the grace of God makes me so. And even right up to the point of preparing to move to the kneeler where Neil Richardson would Ordain me, there was the part of me saying - is this really happening? Am I really about to be Ordained? How can something I've worked so hard for for so many years sneak up on me unawares?

Receiving the Stole bought for me by my wife. Sharing in Communion with about a thousand people. And then, as we walked out back to the robing room, the applause, the cheers as we were welcomed by those who came to support each of us.

It hasn't really sunk in. The implications of what happened will take me longer to work out than I will ever have.

Now, Ordained to Word and Sacrament, I am preparing to do something for the first time: Preside at a service of Holy Communion. Unlike many of my fellow Ordinands I have not had an authorisation to preside - not because I refused, but because there was not sufficient need for my Circuit to make the request. In many ways I am glad: for this first time, this special time, will be an opportunity to celebrate with my churches at the start of this new aspect of what will be my life-long ministry. It is an aspect that I have had three years in Circuit to reflect on: and I can't wait to do this for them, the thing that I know God has called me to, and through the Holy Spirit enabled me for.

Summing up - home from Conference

2011-07-06T20:04:00.002+01:00

I've rather dipped in and out of Methodist Conference. Living an hour away and with young children, I decided to leave at Lunch on Monday, came back a similar time on Tuesday, and then left for good just as the afternoon session was starting on Wednesday. What follows is my (not always serious!) reflection on the experience.

What a Conference-goer needs

1) Bionic Arms, or alternatively a course of weights. The list of things you need can be considerable, and even just the Conference Agenda weighs enough to make Ryanair unhappy with your hand luggage. Three volumes of it, plus handbook, plus report on the Anglican-Methodist Covenant progress....

2) A large bag in order to put the various papers, leaflets, and freebies thrust at you (in the case of exhibitors) or left at the back to collect (for delegates needing order papers, notice of motion papers, daily record papers and the like). The one helpfully provided is only enough if you can empty it every night into a bigger one.

3) A hole punch, to allow you to place said order papers etc. in the binder provided. You need to keep them, as the previous day's order paper can often get referred to. Also, the resulting confetti can be used to greet the new President-Designate or other dignitary.

4) A Laptop or possibly iPad, preferably with a minimum 8 hour battery life. Assuming you can actually get on to the Conference WiFi, this allows you to pull up reports etc. from the Conference Website, and also interact with the multitude via Twitter.

5) An extra brain, to allow you to interact with the multitude vie Twitter while still following what Conference is doing. How the likes of Pete Phillips manage to do so is otherwise a mystery to me.

6) A sense of humour. In fact, this is probably more important than most of the above. Things can get intense, complicated and hard to follow - the occasional flashes of humour (or in the case of David Gamble presenting the Law and Polity matters this morning, full comedy routine complete with assisting cast) leaven the whole experience into one that yes, can be enjoyed.

A little more seriously, it can be extremely hard to follow what is going on if you've never been there before. I went to the "New to Conference" session on Saturday where Toby Scott (Media Director) tried to give us a bit of an overview and some of the jargon, and without it I would soon have been lost. Even with that, the jumping around from one volume of the Agenda to another, and the fact that for one of the days I didn't have the paper with Notices of Motion on it meant that it was a constant battle to be in the right place in terms of looking at what was being discussed. The fact that the screens on either side tended to show you page numbers helped no end, but as a visitor (albeit with some extra privileges) I had no table to spread things out on meaning a constant juggling act.

I was overall pleasantly surprised by the way things worked. Toby had told us of how fast Conference can move, of how hard the delegates work, and he's right - it does move fast. At the same time this isn't necessarily at the cost of discussion - speakers may only have a very limited amount of time, but this does mean that they tend to get to the point fairly quickly, and while not every speaker was able to speak in some debates one imagines it is a long way from the times when Conference would debate an issue and then Mr. Wesley would tell them what to do from the Chair no matter what had been said. The agenda runs to more than 1000 pages, and yet by the end of tomorrow morning the vast majority of it will have been covered - and this since Monday Morning!

I have already mentioned of how the occasional bit of humour enlivens proceedings, but the other thing is that the Conference was by no means dry and dull. Substantive issues were discussed; important things about where we as Methodists are going, what we are doing, and whether we are fulfilling God's work. I came away not bored, but inspired; there are people within Methodism who burn with passion for Social Justice, Peace, Reconciliation, Equality, and many other important issues - and they are not just speaking to a group of people about them, they are doing them and encouraging the whole church to join them. We have been encouraged to stand alongside the poor, the elderly, the young; to consider how we reach out to those on the margins of the church and the society; to work not to make members to keep our churches open, but to make disciples that will likewise want to serve God's purposes. I have been inspired by the Vice-President's Sermon at the Conference Communion Service to think about creating some sort of visual (possibly video?) meditation about breadmaking. (Don't hold your breath though....)

In many ways the answer to anyone who questions the need for Conference could well be to find a way to engage with it. And that is getting easier as Conference and Delegates get a bit more tech-savvy. Now, many sessions of Conference are webcast live and can even be watched again - and the number tuning in is in the order of 150 at times. The Twitter Feed (using the tag #methconf) has been busy, with more than 100 tweeters and busy points seeing a new tweet every 17 seconds. Many of those are more likely to be observing (as I was), and it provided a sort of ongoing commentary and back channel discussion - but some delegates were also involved although as I said before how the likes of Pete Phillips, Angela Shier-Jones and others were able to do so without missing something I don't know - they have my sincere admiration on that score.

That's not to say that some things can't be done better, or more effectively; Tuesday's experiment with Electronic Voting can only be a qualified success in my opinion, as it seemed to take too long for some votes and some items - notably one where a Notice of Motion was discussed, and then split a Resolution into two parts - were unable to be voted on electronically. An Agenda that runs as long as this one is unwieldy and surely a way must be found of reducing the length - good for carbon reduction too. But Conference works, and I have enjoyed being a part of it even if only as an observer.

Maybe, when the children are a bit older, I'll look to go back as a voting member. But for now - unless it's within striking distance for me, I'll just have to watch the live stream. Roll on Plymouth in 2012!

Oh, and I seem to have left at least one mark on Conference. One of the exhibitors had a Formula 1 game set up with a steering wheel and pedals, with a prize for the "Fastest Rev". Unless someone beats it by lunch on Thursday, I have the fastest time - so I can certainly claim to be the fastest member of the 2011 Conference - virtually, anyway......

When is a Baptism not a Baptism? Reflection on a Conference Debate

2011-07-05T22:05:00.000+01:00

One of the privileges of having been ordained at Conference is that you are given the opportunity to stay and watch it in action. Over the last couple of days I have been doing exactly that. And this afternoon, I found myself getting annoyed, maybe even angry.

In some ways this is a good thing as it shows that there are real issues being discussed here, things that are worth debating. However, despite a few tweets on the matter it's difficult to explain your thinking in 140 characters, so hence the first blog post for ages.

The debate in question was the one on reaffirmation of Baptismal Vows including the use of water. It may not sound a great title, but it certainly got me interested in part because it touched on something I addressed on this blog long ago - whether Baptism leaves a lasting mark.

The Faith and Order Committee seem to have done their best to provide a neutral background for the debate, and seemed to want to offer an opportunity for Conference to express its views. They also made it very clear what was being talked about here - not re-baptism, but re-affirming one's baptismal vows in a liturgy or form including water. The Conference debated, and then decided that they did wish this to be pursued - and that is where I was starting to get hot under the (clerical) collar.

There were a number of things that I wasn't convinced about during the debate, and others that were not always brought up.

First of all, where the request is coming from. Apparently it has been brought to a couple of District Chairs by Ministers who have been asked by people about being re-baptised. So the question arises out of a Pastoral concern. That's as may be, but the implication is as well as pastoral, theological - we acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins, so what would agreeing to re-baptise do? While the position on re-baptising hasn't changed and wasn't up for debate, the implication seemed to be that in order to meet this pastoral need we need to be able to offer something close enough to satisfy those that seek it - whether allowing someone to sign themselves with water from the font, or some other way.

This is not re-baptism, but one thing that does concern me is that it may be seen as such. There were mentions on Monday of how we have an internal dialogue in the Methodist Church (such as at Conference) and an external one with those outside it. Will those outside understand that this is not re-baptism? Will other Churches? I cannot answer with any confidence at all that they will. And if detailed explanations have to be made about why this isn't baptism, for me having water involved is only going to confuse matters.

What's wrong with instead working out how we explain and implement confirmation better? There is no reason why this can't be an equally powerful and spiritual experience; I found mine (at the age of 18, having been away from church for several years) to be an amazing, Spirit-filled experience.

Another point that I couldn't help but think as some speakers came forward and spoke of having to turn away people wanting to be re-baptised is that there is nothing to say that what is proposed would in any way give us something to offer them in any case. If someone comes and asks, in all earnest, to be re-baptised, and they are firm in their conviction that this is what they need to happen, we will still not be able to do as they wish.

I was also concerned about the image that was presented of people being told that we couldn't help them. I suspect that the limited time available for speakers prevented clarity on this, but nothing was said of working pastorally with those seeking re-baptism and exploring their need for and understanding of baptism.

I will look with some interest at what Pete Phillips and the Faith and Order Committee come up with, but I can't help but wish there were other options being explored - how about for example annointing someone with oil in an act of reaffirmation, healing and wholeness?

A Carol Service Reflection

2009-12-22T21:29:00.002Z

This was the reflection I used at the two Carol Services I led last Sunday - I thought I would share it here also!

Christmas is a time of contrasts. In our modern world, we go back to a story from 2000 years ago. In our Information Age, when the whole of human knowledge seems to be at our fingertips, we hear once again a story that we have heard every year. In the darkness of winter, we celebrate the coming of Christ, the light of the world. In a world that seems to stumble from crisis to crisis, we bring a message of hope.

The contrasts are all the more between our life today and the world into which Jesus came. We, by the standards that most in our world have, are rich; he was born in a stable. We have freedom to help choose those who represent us; he was from a nation occupied by a foreign power that had just ordered a census.

The images we have on our Christmas Cards – a radiant child, happy mother Mary, splendidly dressed Kings, tidy-looking shepherds, all in a Stable that looks warm, cosy and well ordered – they are a long way from the reality of the Christmas story that we have heard again today. Expectant parents today may be planning the best route to hospital, and worrying about whether they are as antiseptically clean as they should be; Mary faced a long journey, on foot or by donkey, that could hardly be ideal preparation – and then gave birth in what was probably a grimy, smelly, animal shelter.

This is so far beyond our own experiences that it is hard for us today to understand what it was like. And yet, today, we have heard the story again, and it still holds us. Why?

The answer is, for me at least, that ultimately it is about God’s love. God comes down as a baby, in humble surroundings, because of Love. God lives among us, sharing his love. God goes to the cross, to prove his love for shattered humanity. God comes to us today, calling us with words of love.

How are we to respond? How else can we respond, but to love in return? We find ways to share that love with others, devote ourselves to serving God, and in doing so serve others, not because it is our duty but because of the love that is within us. “We love, because God first loved us.”

Whatever else may be going on over this Christmas period, may the love of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit bless you and stay with you each and every day.

Not in my name - joining a chorus of disapproval

2009-10-25T08:34:00.002Z

There is, quite rightly, a storm of protest brewing from Christians at all levels about the claim of BNP Leader Nick Griffin to represent "Christian Britain" - with former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey one of the latest heavyweight figures to challenge his claim.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the whole Question Time episode (and opinion seems to be changing daily on what the fallout might be) this claim of Griffin's is arrant nonsense and seems if anything to display a disconnection from reality. For example this article from 2006 includes research that shows that churchgoing is at a higher level among ethnic minorities than among what Griffin laughably describes as the "Indigenous population" - so Christian Britain (a term that Ekklesia points out means little in any case) is increasingly Afro-Carribean and African, particularly in the big cities - in London it's getting on for half of those who go to church, and in Manchester I can see the trend going the same way. And I rejoice that we have people who are committed to the way of Christ, whose love is for all, whatever their ethnic background may be.

What worries me about the likes of Griffin is that he's a political opportunist at a time when disenchantment with politicians in general means that many are looking for alternatives to the mainstream. At the moment the BNP seems keen to portray itself as the custodian of the Bulldog Spirit, the plucky little underdog that's going into battle against the big bad political giants - and yet when you consider their political background and history, you realise that all that's really changed from the bad old days of the National Front etc is that they've done what many other political parties have done and rebranded. Griffin and his party are more dangerous because they're shrewder than some have given them credit for: they're managing to pick up disenchanted voters by making themselves seem that little bit more respectable. Griffin didn't need to win any sort of debate on QT, he just needed to look and sound relatively personable and effectively not be a Neanderthal in a Combat 18 T-Shirt - for those who might be likely to say "I'm not a racist but...." that could well be enough.

Whatever he may say, when Griffin talks of "Christian Britain" let no-one be in any doubt: he does not speak for me, or the vast majority of those who actually go to church (and I wish I could say for all) - I do not regard the policies of his party, or his attitude to others such as Muslims, as remotely representing the love of Christ or the position of Christianity as a whole.

When is Freecycle not Freecycle?

2009-09-14T08:59:00.002+01:00

Over the last two or three years we have been members of Freecycle - a wonderful concept in many ways - but right now I am questioning whether to stay part of the groups that I am currently a member of. Let me explain about the concept, and then why I am becoming more disenchanted by it.

Freecycle involves a brilliantly simple concept: if you have something you don't want anymore, but may still be useful, you can offer it free of charge to someone from your local area - thus keeping something still usable out of landfill. No money changes hands, and it's expected that the person who wants the item comes to collect it. You can post "Wanted" ads on there as well, usually after you have already offered at least one item. Mostly what's on offer are things that are simply not worth selling - but that are still useful. For example we've received items including a bundle of clothes for our (then baby) daughter, a wheelbarrow, replacement drawers for our freezer, a food steamer, and a bike suitable for our son. In return we've given away any number of ornaments, a Haynes Manual for a car that had been scrapped, two sofas that were of no further use, videos, and all the other things that had collected in our house that we had no wish to move to the manse.

So where's the problem?

Well to start with what you might call the Freecycle Movement seems to be having more than a bit of internal strife. This article from the Guardian tells part of the story, and it's not hard to find other stuff as well. I'm not about to get into the debate about who is right or wrong, other than to observe that the reaction of The Freecycle Network (TM apparently) to the defection of the Manchester Group (to something that is being called Freegle) has been to set up a "new" Manchester Freecycle Group that at the time of writing has 61 members and no messages, compared to the Manchester "Greencycle" Group's 9500 members and 150 messages since Friday alone. Freecycle however remains the "brand" that people are most likely to have heard of, has a name that very neatly encapsulates what it is about, and the splits are unlikely to help the cause that both sides say they support.

What is more annoying to me now though is that whether it's Freecycle, Greencycle, Freegle or whatever, it is in danger of becoming a victim of its own success. A quick looks at some of the numbers tells a story... 156 messages since Friday Morning: 4 Announcements (mostly about the changeover to Greencycle); 60 Offer messages; 2 Received messages; 23 Taken messages; and 64 Wanted messages. More wanted than offered isn't the way I think a group like this needs to run to be healthy; a quick peruse of the wanteds reveals that many people are looking for what might be called "High Value" items such as Laptops and other computer equipment.

Some of the experiences we've had of offering things have been less than good as well. There are some people who seem to reply to pretty much every message saying it's just what they want etc - we noticed this especially when we cleared a load of stuff out of our loft in Liverpool. Do they really just happen to want every single diverse item for themselves - or are they looking for stuff for a Car Boot sale etc? The one guy who was up front about wanting stuff for that purpose (specifically to raise money for a minibus for a local group) was fine - we ended up giving him quite a few bits - but you can't help being suspicious in some cases. It smacks of the many leaflets that appear through the door for "Clothing Collections" that in some cases seem to imply they're going to a good cause when in fact it's a company looking to sell stuff on - you feel like you're being deceived.

Then there's the people that say they want something, but don't turn up - leaving you wondering why you have for example kept an evening free when you could have been off doing something much more interesting than waiting for a doorbell to ring. That's happened several times, and you end up feeling so frustrated that you wonder whether this is really worth the candle.

What's the solution to these sort of problems? That's a tricky one, and depends in some ways where your idealism lies. Some people have no particular issue with stuff being sold on - after all, it's still staying out of landfill. Others (like me) don't mind so much if it's being done openly so that you know where it's going. Others would say you shouldn't be allowed to sell on anything under any circumstances. Some groups limit you to one or two "Wanteds" in a month - but can they police people putting themselves in the group multiple times effectively? Given that all the moderators are volunteers doing this in their spare time, that's a pretty big ask.

Another argument is that many of the items offered on Freecycle are the sort that would traditionally have been donated to Charity Shops - who are therefore potentially missing out. That's not the complete story - what charity would for example want the remains of a load of Topsoil, Daffodil Bulbs, Bricks, Windfalls from an Apple Tree, three internal doors, or a somewhat warped Piano, all of which I have seen offered - but it has to be admitted that there is plenty of stuff offered that charities would be happy to take and sell on.

The long and the short of it is that I'm probably just going to set the messages from whatever the group is called to be automatically deleted until such time as I have something to offer - and for many things, first try and find other places where they will be appreciated, such as the Charity Shops run by a couple of my churches and by Churches on the Edge. It feels like a shame, but for the moment Freecycle and the groups operating in a similar line just don't feel the way they should.

A walk - and annoyance

2009-08-11T19:36:00.004+01:00

Today I went for a walk on my own, something I like to do and need to do every now and then. So off I went to Dovestones Reservoir on the edge of the Peak District. As you can see, the scenery even on a cloudy day is pretty impressive.

And then halfway round I saw this.

Do you ever get the feeling that you don't understand what motivates some people? I simply don't get why what was probably a family group goes off somewhere like this for a picnic and then spoils it for others by leaving their rubbish around like that. There were lots of juice bottles, a disposable barbecue, empty cider bottles and lager cans....

I walked on for a few yards, muttering under my breath about the sheer thoughtlessness of others. Then I stopped: I was challenged. Moaning about it wouldn't make the eyesore go away; however, I could make a difference.

Back I went to the pile. Some of the stuff was in carrier bags; I put some more of the rubbish into them. I didn't carry all of it away, because to be honest there was too much - but the five bags worth I did take helped to make it look somewhat better.

Then came another thought. The stuff had probably been there for the best part of a couple of days and in that time how many people had walked past it? Dovestones is a popular place. Dozens? A hundred? More? Most probably found the sight as deplorable as I did, so why did it seem that no-one (or at least the vast majority) had done more than shake their heads about it?

Reflecting on it now, what springs to mind (although it didn't at the time) is the parable of the Good Samaritan. Something obviously wrong, something causing others to shake their heads about the state of society - but no-one stopping to do anything about it.

Apathy reigns... but it doesn't have to.

(For a few more pictures of Dovestones, check out my Flickr account here!)

Revenge of the Bad Speller

2009-04-04T22:44:00.001+01:00

Revenge of the Bad Speller
Originally uploaded by AlbatrossRob

There are times that I realise that I'm becoming something of an Intellectual Snob, and yesterday was one of them. There's some building work happening just outside my Son's school, and this sign has been placed on a blocked path.

If anyone finds out what a Pedestrain is, and why one might need access to anywhere, let me know!

A little cross....

2009-03-30T21:33:00.001+01:00

Cross
Originally uploaded by AlbatrossRob

Some time ago I blogged about making a cross for my study - well, here is the finished article. With the exception of a small screw in the base and the string, it's created only with the bits I picked up on the beach in North Wales last summer.

Social Too-Much Networking?

2009-03-18T10:13:00.003Z

Some time ago now Sally Coleman over at Eternal Echoes talked a little about something she was looking at in terms of whether it is possible to offer Pastoral Care via Blogs and Facebook. I remember at the time thinking that it could be good up to a point, but that face to face is still the best way. However, when it comes to Facebook in particular, I'm beginning to wonder how much is possible.

I wasn't an early adopter of Facebook, but I have become someone that goes on there at least once a day now, and as more and more people join the site (and some of them find me) my friend list went up. I still don't have that many compared to some, but the disparate crew on there includes family, friends from college, people from my University days, one or two people from messageboards I frequent, various people who have roles within the Methodist Church, friends of my wife's.... a wide variety in other words, of people who I have some sort of connection with.

The end result of this is that I'm discovering that I'm being a lot more cautious about what I put on there. There are things I shared last year through my Status that I simply wouldn't post this year: it used to be I knew everyone personally, and in many cases well (or at least well enough to trust with my inner thoughts and feelings), but now there are people I haven't seen in over 15 years, some who I have never actually met in person, and others who while friends are not what I would call close friends. Suddenly sharing some of those things becomes far too risky - do I really want people who are not close to know these things?

Some things are of course still possible, with Messenger conversations and private messages hidden from view - but in some ways I no longer feel that I can be as open because Facebook is throwing up too many friends, too many people who while it is nice to be back in touch with, don't have the same sort of connection to me.

Is this inevitable with Social Networking? One of my favourite Podcasts, Buzz Out Loud, reported recently on a story that a Juror who used Twitter to talk about a verdict before it was announced in court may cause a mistrial.

It's beginning to look that the more people join these services, the more we have to think about how we use them. Facebook does allow you to only share certain things with certain people - are we all going to have to learn how to use it?

Staff Retreat

2009-03-16T14:24:00.002Z

Last month saw the Circuit Staff Retreat, which took place over three days at Whalley Abbey - picture above, and more on my Flickr Stream.

It was a great chance to stop, take stock, and take in instead of give out - there was plenty of opportunity to be creative and to enjoy the surroundings; many of the pictures were taken on a walk that some of us did literally from the doorstep.

I did a little bit of writing while there, and I thought I'd share them here....

I found somewhere to sit and rest
I found a place – just me
An opportunity to be refreshed
A chance to simply be.

A thousand things that must be done
How many want things of me!
But God demands a single one:
“Spend time alone with Me!”

The time I spent alone with God
Enabled me to see
It mattered not the speed I trod
Much more, it was with thee.

As I sought silence
Time to spend with God
Sounds reached my straining ears
Birds singing
A distant car
Footsteps
A door opening
My own breathing

Where was the quiet?
How could I seek God?

But in these moments
Those gentle noises
Helped me to know that God sought me.....

“Seek and ye shall find” came the words
And so I went out to seek.
I searched the skies
I searched the Earth
I turned over the rocks
I delved into the deeps of the ocean
I looked in every place I could find
But I did not find what I was seeking.

In despair, I stood still;
In silence, I thought of all I had seen

Then I began to laugh – for I realised that what I had been seeking was there all along,
Just needing me to name and recognise the God that is everywhere that we seek
And that is also within ourselves.

Baptism - a lasting mark?

2009-03-12T12:00:00.003Z

It's been a while since I've posted on here, partly because it's been quite busy recently - so there are a few things that I will be trying to catch up on and post here in the next week or so!

I did another baptism - or rather two, as it was two sisters - in the middle of February, which seemed to go fairly well again. A couple of days later I went back to the church to fill in the Baptismal Register and write out the Baptismal Certificates; as I did so, I couldn't help but reflect on the fact that my name and signature is now on some documents that have some lasting significance - there is a lasting mark that I have made on their lives. Should those I have baptised want to go to a Church School, or later on get married in a church, it is my name certifying that they have been baptised; and if the future equivalent of "Who do you think you are" ever features their descendants, if they go and look at registers or certificates it will tell them that I was the one who did the baptism, as well as who the parents were etc.

I say a lasting mark, but some would of course disagree; and just this week I came across an article that included the story of someone who wished to renounce their baptism and have their name removed from a Baptismal Roll (scroll down to the end of the article for it.) He was told it wasn't possible, but what is interesting is in a way that it raises questions about what Baptism is, and what we believe about it. At about the same time, I read a letter in Ichthus - the magazine of LWPT - from someone questioning whether it is still reasonable to hold the view that baptism is once, for all time, and cannot be repeated.

Now, this is where it gets interesting, because the view you take on this depends a lot on where you are coming from. The Secular Society would of course argue that Baptism is essentially meaningless - although it is a little amusing to me that they do provide a "De-Baptism" certificate for download for those who wish to display their lack of belief in God, despite the fact that by their own view the original ceremony has no effect or meaning.... They are of course free to choose this and argue their case - but then, as a believer in God, so am I.

Baptists and others that accept only Believers (ie Adult) Baptism would argue that the baptism is in any case invalid, and reserve the right to re-baptise adults; many other churches (including my own) adopt the position that whenever the baptism is administered, it remains in force.

If you accept that Infant Baptism is valid, there is no need to rebaptise - and in fact many denominations would be very unhappy about this being asked for. My own feeling is that one of the important aspects of Baptism is about God reaching out to us - some of the words are "All this for you, before you could know anything of it." (To use theological language, this is called Prevenient Grace.) It's a sign of God's love which is there for us before we love God, whether we wish to accept it or not - and so, given this, how can a baptism be revoked? I believe that God continues to reach out to us, and even if (like the person in the article) you wish to reject this by regarding it as meaningless ritual or whatever, those of us with faith are also allowed to maintain that this is what we believe is happening with Baptism.

A Pettiness of Politicians

2009-02-11T19:21:00.002Z

Usually when doing intercessions in Church, I will make a point of praying for all those in positions of power, whatever political party they may represent. Every now and again, you get the feeling that it would be far more appropriate to pray instead for the rest of us who end up looking on in disbelief as the politicians set forth on their latest round of metaphorical face pulling in a way that any respectable playground would find beneath them.

The latest thing is a discussion on the artist Titian. Gordon Brown comments on feeling like Titian, age 90, realising that he might just be getting the hang of painting; David Cameron decides to effectively go "ner-ner-ne-ner-ner" at Prime Minister's Question Time and says Titian died age 86. He said other things too, but when it turns out that the Wikipedia page on Titian doesn't quite back up his claims, someone (we are told some over-enthusiastic staff member) at Tory HQ alters the page to make it look like Titian died four years earlier than he did. When this is uncovered, it suddenly becomes the hot political story of the day.

In other words, rather than getting on with some serious analysis of what's going on here and across the world, a significant amount of time is being devoted to how old a Renaissance Painter was. The irony being that no-one really knows in any case.

Somewhere I once read a quote which went something like this: "At the start of every day's business in the House of Commons, a Priest comes in, looks around at the Members of Parliament, and prays for the people."

Extended Communion

2009-02-10T20:58:00.003Z

Today I've been visiting people who, for one reason or another, are unable to receive Communion at Church. As I don't have dispensation to "do" Communion myself, I was doing an "Extended Communion" - taking some of the bread and wine that had been blessed on Sunday, and using it to allow the people I visited to share in the Lord's Supper (as the words in the Order of Service put it.)

I won't get into the way different traditions might see this, but while preparing sheets with the service on and thinking about what is likely to happen when I am able to preside over Communion both in the home and in the Church, I was struck by the fact that in some ways there are some fantastic things about this way of doing a Home Communion.

The main thing in some ways is that Church Members who are in a way detached from the main congregation can receive the same bread and wine, blessed at the same time, as the rest of the congregation. When we talk about sharing in the one loaf, or the one cup, knowing that you are sharing with the people who were there strikes me as being quite a powerful image of how they are part of the congregation even if they find it a struggle to get beyond their own front door.

At the same time there is something of a practicality issue. Bread can only be kept so long before it becomes unsuitable for human consumption, so I am limited to trying to fit all the visits in within two or three days of a given Communion Service. This may not always be practical - there are some people who I am currently unable to visit, and they will have to now wait for the next time there is a Communion - and in the Methodist Church, that's usually something that takes place once a month.... Once I am able to preside, that will cease to be an issue.

Part of me wants to find an alternative solution for after September - one that might allow me to retain the feeling of sharing not just with the one or two people present at a home visit, but with the whole congregation. One possibility might be to actually bake the bread myself (or at least use our Breadmaker), slice and freeze it, and then use this both in Church and in Home Communions. Literally then we would all be sharing in one loaf - even if the blessing of it takes place days or even weeks apart!

I went for a walk on a Winter's day....

2009-02-02T14:56:00.002Z

With Manchester, in common with the rest of the UK, covered in the white stuff, I thought I'd share a few photos with you all of my trip out to do some Pastoral Visiting this morning.

Now, if you are thinking "aren't you in Manchester" the answer is yes - in fact, where I live is not far away from Sportcity, where Manchester City play.

And so is all of this! This is Clayton Vale, a small stretch of what is actually part of the Medlock Valley. I walked through it on my way to do my visiting.

This is pretty much on my doorstep, and we take advantage of it - who knows what green spaces there are where you are!

Hat tip to Sally Coleman, who frequently does a bit of photo-blogging of where she has been walking, together with plenty of other stuff that's well worth checking out. Sally is someone I met at Connexional Candidates Committee, when we were both accepted for Presbyteral Ministry, just under two years ago and her blog contains reflections on where she is at, poetry, sermon thoughts and much more.

Crying with Laughter!

2009-01-04T22:09:00.002Z

Anyone that has ever seen me lose it completely would have been in for a treat tonight.... for those that have never seen it, when something really tickles me I turn into a helpless quaking laughter machine, tears rolling down my cheeks, usually to the complete bemusement of those around me as it's often something that others don't quite get.

In this case, it was one of my Christmas Presents. Some time ago I discovered a rather wonderful book that for those of an easily-offended nature I shall call the "Alton Towers Book". Written by the people behind the website of the non-existent newspaper the Framley Examiner, it was a book about what it described as "Uncommonly British Days Out" - about as far removed from the average theme park as you can get. It featured such delights as the former Nuclear Bunker at Kelvedon, Southport's Lawnmower Museum, the Cumberland Pencil Museum, the set of Eastenders - or at least such of it as is visible over the fence that surrounds it, the David Beckham Trail, and the Morpeth Bagpipe Museum.

Unsurprisingly, the same authors have come up with a sequel. While reading this tonight I came across the chapter on the National Coracle Centre, and there, in the footnotes, was something that reduced me to tears.

One of the events apparently done in coracles involves a race in Yorkshire in coracles made effectively from Yorkshire Pudding Batter. The footnote pointed out another project from the person that made this happen: the North Yorkshire Elvis Bus Tour, in which a group of people dressed like Elvis, and went on a Bus Tour round Ryedale. Singing Elvis Songs. To the tune of "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At." (Incidentally, there's a little bit more about it here.)

This may give you an insight into my sense of humour, or it may not. Either way, you have been warned.....

O for a thousand tongues?

2008-12-24T16:05:00.002Z

No, not a bit of wishful thinking, or a discussion of the hymnody of Charles Wesley....

This last week has seen me joining the ranks of those who freely offer their voices for the sort of project that the Internet can be brilliant for. It's called Librivox, and I'll explain a little about it.

Imagine all the literature that has been produced over the centuries since we started writing stuff down. Now imagine a group of people who are trying to turn as much as possible of it into Audio Books. Now imagine that they are doing this for no money, not charging anything to download them, and not placing any restrictions whatsoever on what they can be used for. That, in a nutshell, is what Librivox is trying to do.

The nuts and bolts of it is that volunteers find works that aren't under copyright any more (Public Domain is the term) and record them, either in groups or individually, then upload them to a site which provides a place to store and catalogue them. The Public Domain part means that you're not going to find the works of JK Rowling, Terry Pratchett or Adrian Plass in there, but it's astonishing how much can be used. Currently they have a bit over a year's worth of audio available to anyone with an internet connection.

I discovered Librivox a while ago now, and have listened to most of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Moby Dick, The Invisible Man by HG Wells, The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins, Edgar Rice Burrough's "Barsoom" novels, some PG Wodehouse, The Wrong Box by Robert Louis Stevenson, and several others; meanwhile, The South Pole by Roald Amundsen, A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle and one or two others are waiting for me to have time to listen.

Having listened to so much, I thought it was about time I started contributing myself. So I have so far recorded three poems for their weekly and fortnightly poetry efforts where as many people as possible read the same poem and they will in due course appear in the catalogue.

I love listening to audiobooks, and while sometimes the readers can be not quite to your taste I have found much to enjoy. The fact that it is free makes it even better!

What's the best thing I've listened to? I'd have to go for Love among the Chickens by PG Wodehouse - well-recorded by someone who has done some professional stuff, and wonderfully funny!

If you like listening to spoken word audio, Librivox is a fantastic resource. It's also a fantastic example of people giving some time to something with no prospect of reward - who says altruism is dead?

A tale of two services

2008-12-18T10:37:00.002Z

Monday and Tuesday saw me taking part in two Lunchtime Services in places that could hardly be more different!

The Monday Service was in some ways a blast from the past for me. I was invited to go back to the Pilkington Technology Centre, a place I had worked on and off for several years during my time with Pilkington, to preach at the on-site Christian Union's Carol Service. This is held in the historic Lathom Chapel which dates back to 1500. This is an annual event (they also hold a service at Easter) which I had been to (and even particiapted in) several times.

After 13 years as an employee it was strange to have to sign in and get a visitor's badge. The site has changed too - a large part of what was the Head Office in St. Helens had literally just moved in, so I got to see some bits that were still a construction site when I was there last.

The idea of change and journey had been incorporated into the service to reflect this, and I spoke a little about that in my few minutes; but also tried to put forward a message that God's priorities are different to ours, and encouraged people to try and give time to those they care about not just at Christmas but throughout the year. (This is something that I am constantly realising myself - sometimes when you prepare for a service you find things that challenge you at least as much as the congregation!)

From an ancient chapel in a rural setting on Monday, my destination on Tuesday was the Methodist Centre which is quite literally in the centre of Manchester - near Piccadilly Gardens in fact. They have a regular service on a Tuesday Lunchtime, and in December the Circuit Staff come together to lead the worship. Reduced by illness and other things, there were five of us who met up to prepare and then lead worship. My contribution was to take part in a sketch about the Three Kings (who are trying the patience of the producer of the nativity play by referring to Los Angeles because it's the City of David... and Victoria... and Brooklyn... and Romeo.... and other such alterations), and lead the congregation in saying the Magnificat (Mary's song of praise to God when she visits Elizabeth to tell her what is happening). There was no sermon as such; we tried instead to let the words of the Christmas Story do the talking.

Both seem to have been well-received, or at least no-one has told me otherwise. Now, I need to prepare for this Sunday Evening!

Baptisms and Technology

2008-12-09T13:07:00.002Z

Up until about this time last week, I thought I was participating in a Baptism on Sunday. Then my supervisor asked me if I'd like to actually do the part with the water, and I was rather taken aback!

While I can't preside at Communion yet, presiding at a Baptism isn't a problem - as a Local Preacher for almost ten years, I could in theory have been doing baptisms for some time. However, when it's your first time quite literally holding the baby, saying the words, and sprinkling the water it's a little daunting.

In some ways this is where the technology enters the picture. No, this was not "RoboPreach", the Mechanical Minister. With a large number of people who aren't regulars, and not enough copies of the current Service Book to go round, we had gone for the hi-tech approach of having a Laptop with the service on it, a projector, and a screen. This is where the fun starts. Having not used a screen at the church before, we had a bit of a time of it working out where to put it, where to put the projector, and how to get it all up and running. The actual techy bits at this point were fine - it was more about having to bring in a table, a small stool and several old hymn books to prop up the projector with that was the problem!

Of course all of this time the clock is ticking, and so it was a very short time indeed before the service that I was finally in the vestry; the Baptism itself was early on, and I didn't have too much time to think and get worried about doing it all correctly before we began....

As a result it went OK, with one minor technical hitch due to one slide being in the wrong order. And when I have to do it again at the end of January, I will at least know a bit better the practicalities of what I'm doing - such as trying to make sure the water is warm, in order to avoid howls of protest...

Another thing that I'll know how to do is how to make booklets more easily. As the parents and Godparents would be facing the wrong way to simply read off the screen, I produced some A5 copies of what they needed to see. This took some time, as I tried to get the pages in the right order, printed the right way round etc. Only now have I discovered that I could have saved myself a lot of effort. I've been using OpenOffice - a free and legal alternative to Microsoft Office if you don't have the money - and had I done a quick Google search on Saturday Night I'd have found the easy way to do it. For anyone else struggling with the same thing - set the page size to A5 Portrait, and when you come to print it out make sure the printer is set to A4 Landscape, then go onto the "Options" button on the Print Dialogue. There's an option there to print Brochure. If your printer does double-sided by itself then select both right and left pages, if not just select the right pages, then reload the printed pages into the printer and repeat with just the left pages.

It's so much easier when you actually go and look for help - something I need to bear in mind for the future!

Advent Conspiracy

2008-12-01T10:19:00.002Z

The video below comes courtesy of the Advent Conspiracy website, and gives some food for thought as we plunge relentlessly once again towards Christmas....

It's far too easy to get caught up in the consumerism that surrounds Christmas, whether you're a Christian or not; that may change a little this year with the Credit Crunch squeezing people's pockets, but every shop and every TV Advert still wants to get us to spend as much as possible. It's very hard to avoid, too. This sort of message reminds us that there's far more to what we're about than providing a place for people to come and sing some jolly carols and maybe put a few pounds in the collection plate - we're about something that is a challenge to what often seems to be the way of the world, a different way not just of doing, but of being.

What do you say to a closing church?

2008-11-24T20:20:00.003Z

Yesterday saw me preaching at a church in the circuit for the first time - nothing unusual there - but also for what will be the last time. The church in question has decided that it is no longer able to continue meeting, and so they are ceasing to worship with the final service actually being next Sunday (30th November). So I am one of the last people to have preached in the building.

This had the potential to be a difficult service, and I had been wondering quite what to say. Should I "just" do a normal Sunday Service, on the grounds that the final service is the following week? It's somewhat outside my experience too; I have not been a member of a church that has closed down, the nearest thing being when I was asked to officially be part of a Church Council that was doing that a few years ago but lacked the numbers to make it official - even then, the decision had been effectively already been made and it was rubber-stamping what was going to happen.

The Lectionary however was my friend. Last Sunday's Old Testament reading was from Ezekiel 34 and spoke about how God would gather together the scattered sheep of Judah, which had been invaded by Babylon, and bring them together under a new shepherd - "David", usually taken to mean a descendant of King David. For a church about to close, with a congregation including several who had been part of another church closure a few years back, I tried to use these words from Ezekiel to bring a message of hope: that they had not been forgotten by God, that they were OK to wonder where God was in their situation, but that God was still there and that they were part of a larger flock.

I don't know how helpful it was to everyone, but I know that at least a couple of people appreciated what was said.

What has happened to this church in some ways raises questions. It's well known as a place that offers much to the local community; many groups come in and use the premises, and in fact they are looking to keep the building going for several months to allow the groups time to find alternate places. It's a building that is obviously appreciated. However that appreciation hasn't extended enough to actually coming along, and the gradually dwindling congregation has been pressed harder and harder to keep everything going. So how do we engage with the people that come in to use the building for secular purposes? How do we encourage people to see that we're about far more than being a sort of community centre? I don't have any answers, but these and other questions certainly need to be asked.....

College Retreat

2008-11-18T13:08:00.003Z

Last weekend was the Hartley Victoria College Retreat, at Parcevall Hall in Wharfedale. Off I went into what seems the middle of nowhere, for a chance to recharge the batteries a bit.

When I say the middle of nowhere - there's no mobile coverage (or very slight maybe), and it's so far into the countryside that you have a torch by your bed to use in case of a fire alarm or power cut! However it's also a beautiful setting, and with terrific food as well it's a good place to go for a retreat.

Probably the thing that I liked best though was the opportunity to do something creative for the worship on the Sunday Morning. I'd taken the camera, and took a number of photos in and around Parcevall Hall; several of us came together to arrange these into a slideshow and then speak some reflective words over the top. The result should be visible below - sorry about the lack of volume!

I can't take any credit for choosing the words - that goes to Bob, Jacqui and Jan. In order that they appear, they are:

1) A meditation by Alistair Maclean. It can be found in the Northumbria Community's Celtic Daily Prayer as one of the day of the month meditations.

2) A poem from Spoken Worship by Gerard Kelly.

3) A couple of sentences from The Cry of the Deer by David Adam.

4) A meditation from Times and Seasons, also by David Adam.

5) A passage from God at Eventide, an adaption of God Calling by Two Listeners, edited by AJ Russell.

In some ways, the fact that this was the part that I liked best is a bit of a challenge: how often do I include opportunities to create and contribute in worship? And is there anything I can do about that?

It's all over the front page....

2008-11-11T20:01:00.003Z

...you give me Road Rage" as Cerys Matthews once sang. Right now I'm calming down after a day or two of the sort of trouble that makes you wonder why it is that we devote so much time, money and effort to the automobile.

It started on Friday really, with the discovery that I had actually been driving without an MOT for a month - my own fault of course. So the car stayed on the drive while I booked it in for the test on Monday.

Come Monday Morning, and it's Houston, we have a problem. The battery is flat, and it's only after we've got into position to try a jump start that we realise that actually the battery in the other car is in the wrong place to do this. Cue much aggravation (and like the Hulk, you won't like me when I'm angry), attempts to push the car back up the drive, and phone calls. I remove the battery and stick it on to charge; late in the afternoon I put it back and it starts fine. No problem, it's having a full service as well as an MOT so it should be fine.

When the garage rings back the news is not great, with an extra bill in the hundreds which we can ill afford - but I need the car, so....

With me due to be at College for the evening we let someone else do the cooking, so on the way back home I stop off at our local Chinese (very good by the way). I climb back into the car, and will it start? Will it heck!

On the plus side, our Breakdown Recovery (with GEM) proved to be well worth it, with a nice man on a motor bike appearing to not only get me started, but pinpoint the problem as being almost certainly the battery. On the minus side, the fact that the battery leads had been so loosely put back on by the garage that they could easily be pulled off by hand, and that the garage neglected to actually check the battery anyway (despite publicising free checks on them) does not fill me with joy. I won't name them as such, but suffice to say you expect better of a major national chain. I don't intend to let this go without having words with them, and if they think that just because it says "Student Minister" on my card that I won't have a go, they have another thing coming. I don't believe God calls anyone to be a doormat!

Somtimes it's great being a Methodist....

2008-10-24T10:34:00.002+01:00

Listening to the Radio the other day on the way home from a meeting, I heard an interesting tale... it seems that the British Humanist Association have decided to run an advertising campaign on London Buses with the message "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." The person speaking seemed to think that this was probably the first Atheist Advertising Campaign, although she was rather hazy on whether this had been tried before - at one point there was some muttering that it hadn't been allowed before, which the interviewer picked up on and got her to admit that she didn't know whether it had ever been tried.

The article on the BBC Site includes a response from the Methodist Church in the person of Rev. Jenny Ellis, Spirituality and Discipleship Officer that is in many ways quite masterful: after thanking Richard Dawkins (yes, he's helped provide some of the funding) for encouraging a "continued interest in God", she is quoted as saying "This campaign will be a good thing if it gets people to engage with the deepest questions of life... Christianity is for people who aren't afraid to think about life and meaning."

I'm one happy Methodist after reading that! It's the sort of response I would have liked to have given myself. No doubt it will be ignored or dismissed by the more zealous atheists, but in some ways it shows that despite the best efforts of the atheist community to paint religion (not just Christianity) as being outmoded, outdated, irrelevant and even dangerous, we haven't gone away. We may not have as many followers, but we're still here. And, strange as it may seem, we haven't all left our brains in the box, or passed our decision-making to an institution and it's idea of morality. There are probably more thinking, questioning Christians around than ever before - many of us who have even read Dawkins' "The God Delusion" and are not convinced by the rhetoric within it, and some of us who can even appreciate what looks to be the satire of Dawkins proving that God is at best highly unlikely, echoing the claims of the Intelligent Design movement when it argues that certain biological structures are so unlikely to occur that they "must" have been designed....

Once in a Lifetime...

2008-10-15T20:53:00.002+01:00

I wasn't exactly feeling too great about things yesterday. Not anything about the work in particular, more a combination of several things making life a bit annoying - not having hot water (possibly it now seems because we didn't know how to set it right on the system), trying to make the money in and the money out match up a bit better, that sort of thing. This on a day when I had written "Retreat and Reflect" in the diary as an opportunity to take some time out to reflect on what has happened so far and recharge my batteries! With the weather also conspiring against my original plan of going for a walk in the Peak District, I set off in a somewhat distracted way for my Plan B - Dunham Massey.

I'd been to Dunham once before, but a while ago; and these days, going round a house like this is often so stressful (due to the way toddlers tend to want to grab and sit on priceless artifacts) that it tends to be something we avoid. It was fairly quiet - one school party, and then what seemed to be just a handful of us wandering around the house.

It was quite fascinating to talk to some of the Room Stewards, who were happy to tell you about what you were looking at and volunteer information. I hadn't realised for example that the family were actually that of Lady Jane Grey - often known as the Nine Days Queen - and that the eldest daughter of each generation of the family was also named Jane. Then there was the connection with the Civil War, with a facsimilie of Charles I's Death Warrant. I spent a bit of time examining this, as I looked for names from a book called "A Conspiracy of Violence" by Susanna Gregory - a Historical Mystery set at the time of the Restoration, in which the names of several of the signatories are mentioned. Sure enough, the names of Challoner, Ingotsby and Barkstead are inscribed upon it.

A couple of hours later I was feeling a bit more chilled out, and I set out for home with some music playing from the iPod, a random selection. About ten minutes away from home, the song "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads started playing, and I found myself going back to the start to listen to the lyrics again....

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself; Well...How did I get here?

Croxteth may not be a Shotgun Shack, but we're in a different part of the world; I was driving my car; the Manse is certainly a big step up, and of course I think the description of my wife fits... Well - how DID I get here?

By the time the song had finished playing, life seemed back on the level again and whatever problems we face didn't seem so big. A moment of grace?

Looking back....

2008-10-06T11:43:00.002+01:00

It's been just over a month since I officially started in circuit, so this is probably a good time to reflect a bit on the ups, downs and occasional sideways bits of how I am finding things.

It's been interesting to see how people respond to me, or in some cases don't respond (more of that in a minute) as a Student Presbyter. In general, there is a difference to my time as a Local Preacher. It's not respect (or not as such) - that was there in any case - but something that's maybe a little more tenuous; I am "The Minister" and as such there are different expectations of what I am there to do. Of course, this is also partly because I am seeing people in different settings (and vice versa) - whether it's being at meetings, visiting people at home or coming along to the Coffee Morning, my role has changed and I'm becoming aware that this means that the response has changed too.

The "not responding" thing is something that at times can be quite entertaining. As I am not even a Probationer yet, I don't wear a Clerical Collar, and this means people sometimes don't realise who or what I am. On one or two occasions it's been quite funny, but there is also again something about perception there. If I put on a collar, suddenly people will know what I am, or who I am - and it can act almost as a badge of identity. For example if I am doing Pastoral Visits, a collar may be seen as making me somehow legitimate; lacking one, questions are more likely to be asked. (Put it this way, I now have some proper Business Cards partly to help with this.) Does the collar really change that much? I am the same person whether or not I am dressed in walking trousers and a polo shirt or in smart trousers and a clerical shirt with a collar; but that may not be how others see me. It will be interesting to see if this changes as and when I become a Probationer and start wearing a collar....

There's been plenty of support for me from my colleagues, and as well plenty of opportunity to find out about the sort of things that God is doing in Manchester - and some of the things are exciting to say the least!

In some ways one of the bigger annoyances concerns Church Notice Boards. Specifically, the ones outside the churches that I have mostly not been to yet, but which still have my phone number on them because I have taken over the manse of the person that looked after them. It's slightly disconcerting to find yourself having a conversation with someone who was expecting to speak to someone else, and once or twice someone has left a message, and then rung back to hear my message on the phone as they obviously realise something is amiss when they don't hear the name they were expecting....

Overall though I feel good about how things are going. The question is, will I still feel like this in another month? Or two? Stay tuned....

Feed my Sheep - a meditation on Peter

2008-09-25T16:44:00.003+01:00

(This was inspired by my Daily Devotions this morning, which included John 21:16)

"Feed my Sheep." That's what he told me. My life has been devoted to that command ever since.

I was hurt. I was confused. I was getting angry. There he was, the Master, the one who I had followed faithfully through, well, almost everything. As we sat there on the beach, he asked me if I loved him. How could I not? How could he not tell? Hadn't I been with him all through the good times and the bad?

Then I realised. That dreadful night when they arrested him; my attempt to mingle with the crowd; my denial of him. At that dark time I hadn't been with him; I had been trying to save my own skin by pretending I wasn't one of his followers. He had good reason to question me. I have never forgotten since how I failed him, that night in the courtyard when all looked lost.

So I have tried to feed his sheep. I have tried to help others understand what I saw - that Jesus was indeed the Christ, that he did die, and that he rose again. It's not been easy; even those with us at the time disagree on what they saw, what was said, what happened after. I haven't always got it right either - more than a few times I've had to be put back on the right track.

"Feed my sheep." I have tried, and some might say I have succeeded - after all, there's a lot more of us now. More to feed, but also more to do the feeding. Sometimes I wonder if they realise what an important task they have taken on. It's been hard enough for me, and I learnt from Jesus first hand - how much harder it is for those who never met him!

"Feed my sheep." I have tried Master, weak though I am. Now help me to keep on going, to keep on feeding, and to not lose sight of your command....

First Service

2008-09-24T20:05:00.002+01:00

My first service at Clayton was last Sunday Morning, and from the reaction afterwards it seems to have gone OK, maybe even quite well. I was a little more nervous than normal, but then again this was my first appointment in the Circuit where I should be for the next five years.

Every church does things slightly differently, and so there were a few things to remember for the future: when the notices are for example, when any young people leave, that sort of thing.

While preparing, I realised in part what a difference my ongoing theological education is making. Once upon a time I would have looked at the readings, had a look at the Desperate Preachers site to see what others thought, and then had a think and pray. This time, being able to do this as part of my work and not just in a couple of evenings, I took down the Commentary that has been sporadically used over the last ten years and had a look... only to discover that I wasn't entirely satisfied with it. It didn't feel like there was enough depth, enough discussion of viewpoints other than that of the authors, or things to follow up on. This isn't to say that the commentary was useless - more that, after a couple of Biblical Studies modules as part of my course, a single volume covering the whole Bible isn't capable of providing the depth I am used to.

I have some academic commentaries already, but high on the priority list in terms of buying books will be making sure that I can at least cover the Gospels, major Epistles and some of the more used Old Testament books. The Luther King House Library may be just down the road at the moment, but it won't be that way forever!

A little project

2008-09-16T21:15:00.003+01:00

"Have you got a Cross for your study?" The question came from someone from my old church, and it took me aback a little. I haven't, and hadn't really considered whether there should be. Given though that it's going to be somewhere I'm spending significant amounts of time working on sermons, assignments and other parts of my work on reflection I decided I should.

Rather than buy one though, I thought I'd try and get a bit creative. So on a short break in North Wales I did a bit of beach-combing and came back with some bits of driftwood and a small bit of slate. It is my intention to turn these into something for the study.

The Cross is of course central to the Christian Message, and when you look around you see plenty of them - whether worn as jewelry, hanging on the side of a church illuminated for all to see, or even in a study somewhere. Mine will not exactly win awards for design, but maybe it will capture something else: the discarded and unwanted pieces of detritus, combined and put together with care, becoming a symbol of the love of Christ.

All I've got to do now is make it.....

What's a Presbyter?

2008-09-10T21:09:00.002+01:00

Another thing from the Welcome Service: overheard behind me, somewhere in the congregation, "What's a Presbyter?" This was because it was announced that there were two student ministers, myself (a Presbyter) and someone else (a Deacon).

In some ways this highlights some of the issues with ministry. I am a Student Minister. I am also a Student Presbyter. The Presbyter part indicates that I am going to be one of the Ministers that will preach the Gospel, declare God's forgiveness to the penitent, baptize, confirm, preside at Communion, lead God's people in worship, prayer and service, minister Christ's Love and compassion, and serve others. At least, that's what it says in the Ordination Service, and in the Methodist Church report "What is a Presbyter".

To some, the confusion may start here. Isn't that what a Minister is? Historically yes, but this isn't the only form of ordained ministry in Methodism; we also have Deacons. Deacons have a somewhat different focus and set of responsibilities; they are also part of a Religious Order. This page from the Order's own website explains better than I can what a Deacon means; or at least in the Methodist Church. (That's another problem by the way; virtually all denominations have their own definition of what a Deacon is, should they have them at all!)

So both Presbyters and Deacons are Ordained Ministers. This is important to remember; something that frequently irks Deacons (or occasionally people like me who know Deacons and Student Deacons) is when someone refers to "Ministers and Deacons" - it somehow implies that they aren't actually ministers, when in fact they have a different type of ministry. The page from the Diaconal Order mentions the confusion, and in some ways it's not surprising when even the Methodist Church Website seems to list "Ministers" and "Deacons" in seperate sections - look at this page!

Ah well, back to work....

Welcome Home?

2008-09-10T16:28:00.001+01:00

Last Sunday night saw the Welcome Service for all of us starting in the Manchester Circuit this year - I am one of four people, including another Student Minister who have taken post. The Preacher started off by talking about his own experiences of moving to a new Manse, in particular a tale of a cooker that he was assured was in terrific condition despite having been in storage for several years; his appetite for using it though took a nosedive when two (cooked!) slices of Bacon were found to be still in the grill pan....

There haven't been any horror stories of that variety in our own move, for which plenty of credit has to go to people in Manchester; but of course there have been some interesting moments.

This was in a way our first major move. Previously we'd mostly been moving somewhere close by, with an overlap allowing us to ferry things back and forth; this time, we had to pack everything ready to be loaded into a lorry and then unpack at the other end. Suffice to say that, three weeks later, there are still boxes waiting to be unpacked and a few things that seem to have disappeared.

Then there were the wardrobes. We had a couple of self-assembled wardrobes that looked like they would fit nicely into the Manse; however, as it turned out we'd put them together a little too well, and unless we removed the banisters then they weren't leaving the house. In fact, at the moment I should really be assembling the new one that's just arrived....

Then there was the fact that we had to clean and fix up the other house as we've had to rent it out. With a few shenanigans on that front (having to replace a baluster broken during the move, and laying some new lino in the bathroom having torn what was there before by accident for example) it hardly seemed we had time to even start getting organised.

There's been plenty to be thankful for however. Friends from our old church have come and helped unpack, put furniture together and the like; people that are already on the way to becoming friends have made sure the Manse was clean and decorated before we arrived, and even provided the means to have a cup of tea on arrival! We are gradually emerging from the chaos, and gradually turning this into our home. It's been stressful and still is to be honest, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a lovely new home too.

Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

2008-09-03T14:25:00.002+01:00

It's sometimes said that one of the things that marks out Methodists is our meetings - specifically the number of them. Given that tonight I will be going to my third meeting in two days - and that one of those was an all-dayer - there may be some truth to that. However, it's not necessarily as bad as it may sound.

Back in the world of IT, meetings were simply part of the job. It did depend on my role, but certainly for management it seemed that whole days spent attending or preparing for meetings were just what it was all about. "Lonely? Bored? Don't know what to do? Hold a meeting!" said one ironic poster I saw a few years ago, and believe me there were times that it seemed to be just that. Meanwhile the meetings I have had so far have been useful, have allowed me to meet my colleagues, have provided plenty of useful information and food for thought.... there's nothing wrong with meetings so long as they are useful, and that they're not allowed to get out of control or last too long.

There's now a plan of action for the next couple of weeks, and plenty of people to contact as part of that - there's a few things to work out too, but for the moment I feel I at least I know where to start!

Welcome to the Blog

2008-09-01T21:50:00.002+01:00

Well, I suppose it was about time I had my own Blog, so here goes....

First of all, a bit about myself. I'm Rob, and I'm currently training to be a Methodist Minister in Manchester, UK. I'm in my mid 30s, married, and have two young children. Until recently I was in IT Support for a major multinational in the North-West, but now I have the opportunity to train part time and work as a Minister part time - so we've moved lock stock and barrel to Manchester!

I've decided to blog about my experiences partly in case anyone finds it interesting, and partly to provide myself with something I can go back to. I have never been someone to keep a diary, so how long this will last is anybodies guess. My aim is however to include my own observations and reflections on what goes on, as much as is OK to make public anyway, and also include any bits of meditation or creative writing from time to time. You will also be subjected to my own particular brand of humour, so be warned!

1st September is the start of the Methodist Year, so today has officially been my first day. In fact, we moved about two weeks ago (more about that later possibly) and have spent some time trying to get organised. Trying is the operative word here - I am not exactly a model of efficiency and if it wasn't for my other half I suspect I would still have been surrounded by boxes with just the computer unpacked.... I have learnt a few things already however.

1) When examining the contents of Filing Cabinets left by your predecessor, do not pile said contents on top of the cabinet. Once you have emptied a couple of drawers-worth out, it has a tendency to cascade down on your head.

2) When surrounded by paperwork that has just cascaded down around you, do not look for sympathy from you partner, who once assured that serious injury has not resulted will be helpless with laughter.

3) A house is not your home until you have what is important to you the way you want it. This may be in terms of furniture, pictures, ornaments, or having a working Dishwasher - but it matters. Seriously.

4) People will invariably offer advice. Listen to it, consider it, and then decide what parts of it you wish to accept. Bear in mind that all advice is well-meant, and is often from people who have experience of where you may be - but that at the same time your situation is not the same as anyone else.

5) Always be prepared to turn down requests if you have good reasons - just make sure your reasons are good ones!