Anyone that has ever seen me lose it completely would have been in for a treat tonight.... for those that have never seen it, when something really tickles me I turn into a helpless quaking laughter machine, tears rolling down my cheeks, usually to the complete bemusement of those around me as it's often something that others don't quite get.
In this case, it was one of my Christmas Presents. Some time ago I discovered a rather wonderful book that for those of an easily-offended nature I shall call the "Alton Towers Book". Written by the people behind the website of the non-existent newspaper the Framley Examiner, it was a book about what it described as "Uncommonly British Days Out" - about as far removed from the average theme park as you can get. It featured such delights as the former Nuclear Bunker at Kelvedon, Southport's Lawnmower Museum, the Cumberland Pencil Museum, the set of Eastenders - or at least such of it as is visible over the fence that surrounds it, the David Beckham Trail, and the Morpeth Bagpipe Museum.
Unsurprisingly, the same authors have come up with a sequel. While reading this tonight I came across the chapter on the National Coracle Centre, and there, in the footnotes, was something that reduced me to tears.
One of the events apparently done in coracles involves a race in Yorkshire in coracles made effectively from Yorkshire Pudding Batter. The footnote pointed out another project from the person that made this happen: the North Yorkshire Elvis Bus Tour, in which a group of people dressed like Elvis, and went on a Bus Tour round Ryedale. Singing Elvis Songs. To the tune of "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At." (Incidentally, there's a little bit more about it here.)
This may give you an insight into my sense of humour, or it may not. Either way, you have been warned.....
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
O for a thousand tongues?
No, not a bit of wishful thinking, or a discussion of the hymnody of Charles Wesley....
This last week has seen me joining the ranks of those who freely offer their voices for the sort of project that the Internet can be brilliant for. It's called Librivox, and I'll explain a little about it.
Imagine all the literature that has been produced over the centuries since we started writing stuff down. Now imagine a group of people who are trying to turn as much as possible of it into Audio Books. Now imagine that they are doing this for no money, not charging anything to download them, and not placing any restrictions whatsoever on what they can be used for. That, in a nutshell, is what Librivox is trying to do.
The nuts and bolts of it is that volunteers find works that aren't under copyright any more (Public Domain is the term) and record them, either in groups or individually, then upload them to a site which provides a place to store and catalogue them. The Public Domain part means that you're not going to find the works of JK Rowling, Terry Pratchett or Adrian Plass in there, but it's astonishing how much can be used. Currently they have a bit over a year's worth of audio available to anyone with an internet connection.
I discovered Librivox a while ago now, and have listened to most of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Moby Dick, The Invisible Man by HG Wells, The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins, Edgar Rice Burrough's "Barsoom" novels, some PG Wodehouse, The Wrong Box by Robert Louis Stevenson, and several others; meanwhile, The South Pole by Roald Amundsen, A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle and one or two others are waiting for me to have time to listen.
Having listened to so much, I thought it was about time I started contributing myself. So I have so far recorded three poems for their weekly and fortnightly poetry efforts where as many people as possible read the same poem and they will in due course appear in the catalogue.
I love listening to audiobooks, and while sometimes the readers can be not quite to your taste I have found much to enjoy. The fact that it is free makes it even better!
What's the best thing I've listened to? I'd have to go for Love among the Chickens by PG Wodehouse - well-recorded by someone who has done some professional stuff, and wonderfully funny!
If you like listening to spoken word audio, Librivox is a fantastic resource. It's also a fantastic example of people giving some time to something with no prospect of reward - who says altruism is dead?
This last week has seen me joining the ranks of those who freely offer their voices for the sort of project that the Internet can be brilliant for. It's called Librivox, and I'll explain a little about it.
Imagine all the literature that has been produced over the centuries since we started writing stuff down. Now imagine a group of people who are trying to turn as much as possible of it into Audio Books. Now imagine that they are doing this for no money, not charging anything to download them, and not placing any restrictions whatsoever on what they can be used for. That, in a nutshell, is what Librivox is trying to do.
The nuts and bolts of it is that volunteers find works that aren't under copyright any more (Public Domain is the term) and record them, either in groups or individually, then upload them to a site which provides a place to store and catalogue them. The Public Domain part means that you're not going to find the works of JK Rowling, Terry Pratchett or Adrian Plass in there, but it's astonishing how much can be used. Currently they have a bit over a year's worth of audio available to anyone with an internet connection.
I discovered Librivox a while ago now, and have listened to most of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Moby Dick, The Invisible Man by HG Wells, The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins, Edgar Rice Burrough's "Barsoom" novels, some PG Wodehouse, The Wrong Box by Robert Louis Stevenson, and several others; meanwhile, The South Pole by Roald Amundsen, A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle and one or two others are waiting for me to have time to listen.
Having listened to so much, I thought it was about time I started contributing myself. So I have so far recorded three poems for their weekly and fortnightly poetry efforts where as many people as possible read the same poem and they will in due course appear in the catalogue.
I love listening to audiobooks, and while sometimes the readers can be not quite to your taste I have found much to enjoy. The fact that it is free makes it even better!
What's the best thing I've listened to? I'd have to go for Love among the Chickens by PG Wodehouse - well-recorded by someone who has done some professional stuff, and wonderfully funny!
If you like listening to spoken word audio, Librivox is a fantastic resource. It's also a fantastic example of people giving some time to something with no prospect of reward - who says altruism is dead?
Thursday, 18 December 2008
A tale of two services
Monday and Tuesday saw me taking part in two Lunchtime Services in places that could hardly be more different!
The Monday Service was in some ways a blast from the past for me. I was invited to go back to the Pilkington Technology Centre, a place I had worked on and off for several years during my time with Pilkington, to preach at the on-site Christian Union's Carol Service. This is held in the historic Lathom Chapel which dates back to 1500. This is an annual event (they also hold a service at Easter) which I had been to (and even particiapted in) several times.
After 13 years as an employee it was strange to have to sign in and get a visitor's badge. The site has changed too - a large part of what was the Head Office in St. Helens had literally just moved in, so I got to see some bits that were still a construction site when I was there last.
The idea of change and journey had been incorporated into the service to reflect this, and I spoke a little about that in my few minutes; but also tried to put forward a message that God's priorities are different to ours, and encouraged people to try and give time to those they care about not just at Christmas but throughout the year. (This is something that I am constantly realising myself - sometimes when you prepare for a service you find things that challenge you at least as much as the congregation!)
From an ancient chapel in a rural setting on Monday, my destination on Tuesday was the Methodist Centre which is quite literally in the centre of Manchester - near Piccadilly Gardens in fact. They have a regular service on a Tuesday Lunchtime, and in December the Circuit Staff come together to lead the worship. Reduced by illness and other things, there were five of us who met up to prepare and then lead worship. My contribution was to take part in a sketch about the Three Kings (who are trying the patience of the producer of the nativity play by referring to Los Angeles because it's the City of David... and Victoria... and Brooklyn... and Romeo.... and other such alterations), and lead the congregation in saying the Magnificat (Mary's song of praise to God when she visits Elizabeth to tell her what is happening). There was no sermon as such; we tried instead to let the words of the Christmas Story do the talking.
Both seem to have been well-received, or at least no-one has told me otherwise. Now, I need to prepare for this Sunday Evening!
The Monday Service was in some ways a blast from the past for me. I was invited to go back to the Pilkington Technology Centre, a place I had worked on and off for several years during my time with Pilkington, to preach at the on-site Christian Union's Carol Service. This is held in the historic Lathom Chapel which dates back to 1500. This is an annual event (they also hold a service at Easter) which I had been to (and even particiapted in) several times.
After 13 years as an employee it was strange to have to sign in and get a visitor's badge. The site has changed too - a large part of what was the Head Office in St. Helens had literally just moved in, so I got to see some bits that were still a construction site when I was there last.
The idea of change and journey had been incorporated into the service to reflect this, and I spoke a little about that in my few minutes; but also tried to put forward a message that God's priorities are different to ours, and encouraged people to try and give time to those they care about not just at Christmas but throughout the year. (This is something that I am constantly realising myself - sometimes when you prepare for a service you find things that challenge you at least as much as the congregation!)
From an ancient chapel in a rural setting on Monday, my destination on Tuesday was the Methodist Centre which is quite literally in the centre of Manchester - near Piccadilly Gardens in fact. They have a regular service on a Tuesday Lunchtime, and in December the Circuit Staff come together to lead the worship. Reduced by illness and other things, there were five of us who met up to prepare and then lead worship. My contribution was to take part in a sketch about the Three Kings (who are trying the patience of the producer of the nativity play by referring to Los Angeles because it's the City of David... and Victoria... and Brooklyn... and Romeo.... and other such alterations), and lead the congregation in saying the Magnificat (Mary's song of praise to God when she visits Elizabeth to tell her what is happening). There was no sermon as such; we tried instead to let the words of the Christmas Story do the talking.
Both seem to have been well-received, or at least no-one has told me otherwise. Now, I need to prepare for this Sunday Evening!
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Baptisms and Technology
Up until about this time last week, I thought I was participating in a Baptism on Sunday. Then my supervisor asked me if I'd like to actually do the part with the water, and I was rather taken aback!
While I can't preside at Communion yet, presiding at a Baptism isn't a problem - as a Local Preacher for almost ten years, I could in theory have been doing baptisms for some time. However, when it's your first time quite literally holding the baby, saying the words, and sprinkling the water it's a little daunting.
In some ways this is where the technology enters the picture. No, this was not "RoboPreach", the Mechanical Minister. With a large number of people who aren't regulars, and not enough copies of the current Service Book to go round, we had gone for the hi-tech approach of having a Laptop with the service on it, a projector, and a screen. This is where the fun starts. Having not used a screen at the church before, we had a bit of a time of it working out where to put it, where to put the projector, and how to get it all up and running. The actual techy bits at this point were fine - it was more about having to bring in a table, a small stool and several old hymn books to prop up the projector with that was the problem!
Of course all of this time the clock is ticking, and so it was a very short time indeed before the service that I was finally in the vestry; the Baptism itself was early on, and I didn't have too much time to think and get worried about doing it all correctly before we began....
As a result it went OK, with one minor technical hitch due to one slide being in the wrong order. And when I have to do it again at the end of January, I will at least know a bit better the practicalities of what I'm doing - such as trying to make sure the water is warm, in order to avoid howls of protest...
Another thing that I'll know how to do is how to make booklets more easily. As the parents and Godparents would be facing the wrong way to simply read off the screen, I produced some A5 copies of what they needed to see. This took some time, as I tried to get the pages in the right order, printed the right way round etc. Only now have I discovered that I could have saved myself a lot of effort. I've been using OpenOffice - a free and legal alternative to Microsoft Office if you don't have the money - and had I done a quick Google search on Saturday Night I'd have found the easy way to do it. For anyone else struggling with the same thing - set the page size to A5 Portrait, and when you come to print it out make sure the printer is set to A4 Landscape, then go onto the "Options" button on the Print Dialogue. There's an option there to print Brochure. If your printer does double-sided by itself then select both right and left pages, if not just select the right pages, then reload the printed pages into the printer and repeat with just the left pages.
It's so much easier when you actually go and look for help - something I need to bear in mind for the future!
While I can't preside at Communion yet, presiding at a Baptism isn't a problem - as a Local Preacher for almost ten years, I could in theory have been doing baptisms for some time. However, when it's your first time quite literally holding the baby, saying the words, and sprinkling the water it's a little daunting.
In some ways this is where the technology enters the picture. No, this was not "RoboPreach", the Mechanical Minister. With a large number of people who aren't regulars, and not enough copies of the current Service Book to go round, we had gone for the hi-tech approach of having a Laptop with the service on it, a projector, and a screen. This is where the fun starts. Having not used a screen at the church before, we had a bit of a time of it working out where to put it, where to put the projector, and how to get it all up and running. The actual techy bits at this point were fine - it was more about having to bring in a table, a small stool and several old hymn books to prop up the projector with that was the problem!
Of course all of this time the clock is ticking, and so it was a very short time indeed before the service that I was finally in the vestry; the Baptism itself was early on, and I didn't have too much time to think and get worried about doing it all correctly before we began....
As a result it went OK, with one minor technical hitch due to one slide being in the wrong order. And when I have to do it again at the end of January, I will at least know a bit better the practicalities of what I'm doing - such as trying to make sure the water is warm, in order to avoid howls of protest...
Another thing that I'll know how to do is how to make booklets more easily. As the parents and Godparents would be facing the wrong way to simply read off the screen, I produced some A5 copies of what they needed to see. This took some time, as I tried to get the pages in the right order, printed the right way round etc. Only now have I discovered that I could have saved myself a lot of effort. I've been using OpenOffice - a free and legal alternative to Microsoft Office if you don't have the money - and had I done a quick Google search on Saturday Night I'd have found the easy way to do it. For anyone else struggling with the same thing - set the page size to A5 Portrait, and when you come to print it out make sure the printer is set to A4 Landscape, then go onto the "Options" button on the Print Dialogue. There's an option there to print Brochure. If your printer does double-sided by itself then select both right and left pages, if not just select the right pages, then reload the printed pages into the printer and repeat with just the left pages.
It's so much easier when you actually go and look for help - something I need to bear in mind for the future!
Monday, 1 December 2008
Advent Conspiracy
The video below comes courtesy of the Advent Conspiracy website, and gives some food for thought as we plunge relentlessly once again towards Christmas....
It's far too easy to get caught up in the consumerism that surrounds Christmas, whether you're a Christian or not; that may change a little this year with the Credit Crunch squeezing people's pockets, but every shop and every TV Advert still wants to get us to spend as much as possible. It's very hard to avoid, too. This sort of message reminds us that there's far more to what we're about than providing a place for people to come and sing some jolly carols and maybe put a few pounds in the collection plate - we're about something that is a challenge to what often seems to be the way of the world, a different way not just of doing, but of being.
It's far too easy to get caught up in the consumerism that surrounds Christmas, whether you're a Christian or not; that may change a little this year with the Credit Crunch squeezing people's pockets, but every shop and every TV Advert still wants to get us to spend as much as possible. It's very hard to avoid, too. This sort of message reminds us that there's far more to what we're about than providing a place for people to come and sing some jolly carols and maybe put a few pounds in the collection plate - we're about something that is a challenge to what often seems to be the way of the world, a different way not just of doing, but of being.
Monday, 24 November 2008
What do you say to a closing church?
Yesterday saw me preaching at a church in the circuit for the first time - nothing unusual there - but also for what will be the last time. The church in question has decided that it is no longer able to continue meeting, and so they are ceasing to worship with the final service actually being next Sunday (30th November). So I am one of the last people to have preached in the building.
This had the potential to be a difficult service, and I had been wondering quite what to say. Should I "just" do a normal Sunday Service, on the grounds that the final service is the following week? It's somewhat outside my experience too; I have not been a member of a church that has closed down, the nearest thing being when I was asked to officially be part of a Church Council that was doing that a few years ago but lacked the numbers to make it official - even then, the decision had been effectively already been made and it was rubber-stamping what was going to happen.
The Lectionary however was my friend. Last Sunday's Old Testament reading was from Ezekiel 34 and spoke about how God would gather together the scattered sheep of Judah, which had been invaded by Babylon, and bring them together under a new shepherd - "David", usually taken to mean a descendant of King David. For a church about to close, with a congregation including several who had been part of another church closure a few years back, I tried to use these words from Ezekiel to bring a message of hope: that they had not been forgotten by God, that they were OK to wonder where God was in their situation, but that God was still there and that they were part of a larger flock.
I don't know how helpful it was to everyone, but I know that at least a couple of people appreciated what was said.
What has happened to this church in some ways raises questions. It's well known as a place that offers much to the local community; many groups come in and use the premises, and in fact they are looking to keep the building going for several months to allow the groups time to find alternate places. It's a building that is obviously appreciated. However that appreciation hasn't extended enough to actually coming along, and the gradually dwindling congregation has been pressed harder and harder to keep everything going. So how do we engage with the people that come in to use the building for secular purposes? How do we encourage people to see that we're about far more than being a sort of community centre? I don't have any answers, but these and other questions certainly need to be asked.....
This had the potential to be a difficult service, and I had been wondering quite what to say. Should I "just" do a normal Sunday Service, on the grounds that the final service is the following week? It's somewhat outside my experience too; I have not been a member of a church that has closed down, the nearest thing being when I was asked to officially be part of a Church Council that was doing that a few years ago but lacked the numbers to make it official - even then, the decision had been effectively already been made and it was rubber-stamping what was going to happen.
The Lectionary however was my friend. Last Sunday's Old Testament reading was from Ezekiel 34 and spoke about how God would gather together the scattered sheep of Judah, which had been invaded by Babylon, and bring them together under a new shepherd - "David", usually taken to mean a descendant of King David. For a church about to close, with a congregation including several who had been part of another church closure a few years back, I tried to use these words from Ezekiel to bring a message of hope: that they had not been forgotten by God, that they were OK to wonder where God was in their situation, but that God was still there and that they were part of a larger flock.
I don't know how helpful it was to everyone, but I know that at least a couple of people appreciated what was said.
What has happened to this church in some ways raises questions. It's well known as a place that offers much to the local community; many groups come in and use the premises, and in fact they are looking to keep the building going for several months to allow the groups time to find alternate places. It's a building that is obviously appreciated. However that appreciation hasn't extended enough to actually coming along, and the gradually dwindling congregation has been pressed harder and harder to keep everything going. So how do we engage with the people that come in to use the building for secular purposes? How do we encourage people to see that we're about far more than being a sort of community centre? I don't have any answers, but these and other questions certainly need to be asked.....
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
College Retreat
Last weekend was the Hartley Victoria College Retreat, at Parcevall Hall in Wharfedale. Off I went into what seems the middle of nowhere, for a chance to recharge the batteries a bit.
When I say the middle of nowhere - there's no mobile coverage (or very slight maybe), and it's so far into the countryside that you have a torch by your bed to use in case of a fire alarm or power cut! However it's also a beautiful setting, and with terrific food as well it's a good place to go for a retreat.
Probably the thing that I liked best though was the opportunity to do something creative for the worship on the Sunday Morning. I'd taken the camera, and took a number of photos in and around Parcevall Hall; several of us came together to arrange these into a slideshow and then speak some reflective words over the top. The result should be visible below - sorry about the lack of volume!
I can't take any credit for choosing the words - that goes to Bob, Jacqui and Jan. In order that they appear, they are:
1) A meditation by Alistair Maclean. It can be found in the Northumbria Community's Celtic Daily Prayer as one of the day of the month meditations.
2) A poem from Spoken Worship by Gerard Kelly.
3) A couple of sentences from The Cry of the Deer by David Adam.
4) A meditation from Times and Seasons, also by David Adam.
5) A passage from God at Eventide, an adaption of God Calling by Two Listeners, edited by AJ Russell.
In some ways, the fact that this was the part that I liked best is a bit of a challenge: how often do I include opportunities to create and contribute in worship? And is there anything I can do about that?
When I say the middle of nowhere - there's no mobile coverage (or very slight maybe), and it's so far into the countryside that you have a torch by your bed to use in case of a fire alarm or power cut! However it's also a beautiful setting, and with terrific food as well it's a good place to go for a retreat.
Probably the thing that I liked best though was the opportunity to do something creative for the worship on the Sunday Morning. I'd taken the camera, and took a number of photos in and around Parcevall Hall; several of us came together to arrange these into a slideshow and then speak some reflective words over the top. The result should be visible below - sorry about the lack of volume!
I can't take any credit for choosing the words - that goes to Bob, Jacqui and Jan. In order that they appear, they are:
1) A meditation by Alistair Maclean. It can be found in the Northumbria Community's Celtic Daily Prayer as one of the day of the month meditations.
2) A poem from Spoken Worship by Gerard Kelly.
3) A couple of sentences from The Cry of the Deer by David Adam.
4) A meditation from Times and Seasons, also by David Adam.
5) A passage from God at Eventide, an adaption of God Calling by Two Listeners, edited by AJ Russell.
In some ways, the fact that this was the part that I liked best is a bit of a challenge: how often do I include opportunities to create and contribute in worship? And is there anything I can do about that?
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